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Inside of Me, The Night Will Last Forever


In pools of water beneath skies of stars, an innocent dies. Crucifixes placed in puckered mouths belonging to hands covered with moist soil, the moon was my witness. There’s nothing that can’t be done. She knows it, as do the vines that wait for our approach. Summers spent alone with views of turbulent seas. Write this all down, and let […]

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Dark Messages


These old ghosts. They stink of dust and candle wax. So many broken promises. Lost love and letters to the dead. Haunted by the coming of autumn and the falling of dying leaves. Fields of corn where I escape to when reality becomes too much. Unbearable through its persistence of sticking to the rules. She sleeps so tender yet her tongue is […]

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Nobody Ever Came


Anxiety leading to depression, or maybe it’s the other way around. Drinking doesn’t help, that’s for sure. All that morning nausea and fear of the future. The fear of stepping foot outside the front door. Withdrawing as the leaves and rain blow against that lonesome window. Being sick in the kitchen sink. Sweat trickling down my face as I curled […]

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Ordinary Madness


Waking up surrounded by others. Two spots on either side of my right nipple. Through chest hair I see a reddened smear. Picking until it bleeds, my fingers sniff out cancer just in case. Awkward teenagers going shopping with their parents. Boys with crippling shyness and girls with braces supporting crocked teeth. Body language backwards, they suffer like those not made for […]

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Phase #2


They lurk with child killers and rapists. Hiding in plain sight, and feeding on the blood of the young. Artists hung out to dry. No time to say goodbye as the blade snuffs out life. In her belly then across her throat. In Brazilian forests, along with the wastelands in Russia, the journey from life to nothingness is met with […]

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Solid Air

It’s been years since I fell asleep not thinking of tomorrow. So much has happened. So much beauty and unhappiness. Of all that’s been and lost, and all that never was. In the lonely hours when no one else is around, I show my true face. I push people away. I cling to my own desperate sense of longing. There’s something in the truth of absence. Something in the shadows that calls my name. I’m not a monster, I promise it to the stars. There’s love behind my cold eyes, it just gets lost in the labyrinth of my emotional turmoil. Always searching for what can never be found. There’s a secret I’m after that has no language to reveal its true meaning. Too absent minded and too wrapped up in what lies beyond. The death of Jeff Buckley suddenly makes me feel even sadder. The scent of the candle before the fireplace reminds me of a time where there was no fear of being natural. Only sunshine and freedom. Breathing air without anxiety. A life without worry and the fear of fear. To remember a state of mind where there was only love. My condition may be chemical or natural, but it can never be cured. It’s within me, deep in these bones that will one day be nothing more than dust. Eternal like the darkness of space, my reason for being is out of reach left dangling in […]

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Phase #1


These clothes haven’t been washed in days. This flesh that stinks of cheap romance. A car crash on the outskirts of a municipal district.  So many broken promises. So many ghosts that haunt when outside my window the night sings my name so softly. limbs in the gutter. A roof on fire with a thousand naked bodies trapped below. All […]

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Everything Where It Belongs


The leaves carry the sounds of hope and despair. The moon looks down with voiceless intrigue as the world spins ever on to faithless obscurity. Stomach ulcers and the keys of a piano. Dead flowers before an open window with the breeze creeping in to caress your unloved face. All those tears, and the dust that collects around your bed. […]

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From Safety To Where


It rained pretty much all day. I woke with a hangover whilst trying to decipher some dream involving an ex lover. The visions faded though before I got the chance to figure out what it all meant. The bedsheets kept me safe. They wrapped me up in warmth like the embrace of my grandmother all those years ago. A bath […]

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Boredom, Heartbreak and Pain

I’m disillusioned with everything. Relationships. Being shackled to another, to someone who resents you for staying true to yourself. All those damned souls who cling to happy endings consisting of marriage and children. Fairytale lives where the key is to be like everyone else. Don’t arouse suspicion, just fit in. Be normal. Be pretty. All those useless, beautiful faces. The sex on display that leaves me numb. Flesh and fertility, they do nothing for me other than to isolate my dreams and desires even more. My life is fantasy. Fantasy my life. It consists of thoughts unchained by the adult world. Art makes me free, nothing else. Don’t tell me that in order to be successful I need to change who I am. That in order for me to be somebody, I have to be someone else. I am what I am. This journey I’m on is a strange one. The sacrifices made unpleasant. There’s been boredom, heartbreak and pain. They’ll be plenty more of it too. Lovers are attracted by my looks and personality, then once they see the darkness inside, they flee. They see my obsession, and they know that they’ll always be second best to my words. Second best to me. It’s not true, I loved them all, but my hunger for what I believe in will never diminish. I’ve little to show for it, yet the road is long. This is how I am, and though […]

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