The hidden depths. The ways of your desire.
Perched on the edge of the bed, there is no line between where I end and you begin. Only I never end, not really. I am Abstract Daddy, a dream upon waking that never leaves you. There is no substance to what I am. I’m void of flesh and bone. I’m everything where there should be nothing. A black hole, sucking the life right out of you, never letting anything escape my grasp. An abyss of chewed up memories and hearts. My own’s full of all those dead yesterdays and an endless field of dying flowers. There is no sun about me, and upon my tongue words never roll. Blood is of no use, nor are the blackened eyes that gaze into you. They’re just for show, like the beads that cling to your pretty little neck. In the morning when you wake, I slip into your warm body. And that’s where I stay, filling you up all day long, feeding on what you are. Like some kind of vampire, a demon you can never be rid of. Yet I’m not really there, I’m waiting at the foot of the bed for your return. Waiting for when you come back so I can have you once more. Between the sheets, I’m a bad machine. And I’ll never stop, for as long as you want me, I’ll keep doing what I do.
I’m merging into objects, eating the scent of dreams and fantasies. Caressing necks and kissing eyelids, I pluck needles from the base of your spine. Drinking wine, my fingers trace their way back to the source. The waters of our birth, contained in the cradle of life and death. Spreading layers and tasting saliva, there’s something between us that can never be broken. Something untold and forgotten. Something brighter than any sun. I can’t remember it for the life of me, but it’s there, permanent and true. Linking fingers and disappearing, I’m haunting the dreams that flower within your head. From the city to the sea, from buildings to the shore. Through the woods where the animals dance to the moors where dead children play, I’m haunting you without end. I’m your shadow in the dark, a lover where there is no love. Digging your nails into my back, I make the atoms you’re made of vibrate with joy. For I’m beyond the limits of what is known. And all is known, is that we are one and the same
“Wherever he has gone, I have gone” you once said. And that’s right, for wherever you go, I go too.
As you move with emptiness all around, I’m stalking the ground by your side. Across the rivers and above the trees, through the lonely streets where memory and silence go hand in hand, to the parking lots where love has long since passed. In every town up and down the land, in every sigh that reaches up to the sacred sky. The world is drowning in melancholy, it suffocates all. Everything that ever was and will ever be is born drenched in it. It’s an inescapable part of life. But to me, it’s a beautiful thing. Sorrow is so dazzling in my hollow eyes, it drives me wild like you wouldn’t believe. And the way you wear it, is almost too much for me to bear. You seduce me with it, pulling me in and never letting go. That’s how you found me, all those years since gone. And here I am, still at your side, merging with you whenever I please and hanging onto your every move.
Sat on the edge of the bed as you undress with the moon shining in through the window, my hands caress your glorious bones. With everything quiet except the beating of your fragile heart, I finish my cigarette before creeping up and taking you like it’s our very first time.
To think of the horrors that we will see.
The pleasures we will embrace.