With everything silent and still, it’s just me, her, and a handful of ghosts. Laying on my side, there’s something so innocent about her as she sleeps. It’s in the way she curls beneath the blanket, nose twitching, eyes fluttering. It’s in the way she draws towards me, looking for comfort and safety while unknown dreams dance within her damaged head. I watch her with a sense of peace in my heart, for when she’s awake she drives me wild; she quickens my pulse as easy as you like. Yet in the early hours, when darkness reigns, all she can do is make me smile. Don’t get me wrong, I like the fire between us, but when she’s quiet, it gives me a chance to absorb her beauty. If she knew this was how I felt, I’m sure I’d feel her wrath- and there’s nothing more I’d enjoy than to go up against her like before. All those arguments, the falling outs. Raised voices and periods of vengeful silence. She claims I once made her sleep on the floor while she was pregnant, but this I don’t believe at all. For me, it was always small stuff, the kind we forgot about almost immediately. When we kissed and made up, things were always fine. We both wanted one another, and that’s all that mattered. But then I’d go and piss her off somehow. And she’d piss me off too. Always too many questions. Always asking me what I was thinking, or getting on my back if I looked at another girl. We were a fiery couple, yet when we were good, we were real good. And between the sheets, there was nothing that came close. The passion. The desire. It wasn’t just sex; it was something more. The intimacy, the baring of souls. When we came together, we left nothing untouched. We pulled the stars from the sky and used them any way we saw fit.
That magic is hard to find, and it’s so easily missed. It’s strange how someone you can feel so much love for, can also bring you so much pain and grief. But I guess that’s just how it goes. Better it be like that than to feel nothing at all; to be in love with someone who never gets under your skin, who never makes you feel as if you’re truly alive. Going for a walk as the sun comes down, I move through the fields that overlook the town I call home. Lighting a cigarette and watching as the sky grows dark, I wonder to myself just where we will end up. Will the passion glue us together again? Will that spark come back to life and make us revel in the fires we know so well? Only time will tell I guess. You can’t say anything more than that because time is the key to everything. You need actions, of course, and you need words for sure. But time, that’s what gets you each and every, time. Blowing smoke up to the sepia-tinged abyss above my head, I think of what she means to me and laugh. It’s a grateful laugh, one that sums her up completely. Through heartache and joy, despair and wonder. For better and for worse, she has changed my life completely. She changes it each and every day. Without saying a word, and without even trying. Without even being there. That’s just how she is.