Inside Out

sands

 

A taxi to your arms while running through the snow until I can’t breathe. Panic attacks in the shower, and as you hold me close, you just gaze into the whites of my tear-stained eyes. All this pain, hidden for so long within a maze constructed of damaged feelings and uncaring exteriors. Smoking in the rain. Drenched with nowhere to go. With nowhere to hide, the sparks of my lighter illuminate the touch of your hand upon my shoulder. Take me back to bed, and stay with me through the night. Keep me warm, keep me safe. Be careful what you put people through. Be careful that you don’t push them away. Always chasing the tail of a vision you were never meant to see. Not hungry. Not interested. No point in keeping promises. No point in believing others will do the same. Stumbling back home from a drunken night out, a woman approaches me with only one thing on her mind, but it isn’t magic, so I look straight through her. Staggering between the gutter and the trees, I look up at the stars and feel my soul dissolving so easily. Not dead, just numb. Not hurt, only sleeping against a world that holds no meaning. Help me up the stairs, and wrap me tightly in your dreams. Keep with me even though I’m falling. See what it means to keep digging for what can never be reached, but know my heart pumps on, for that’s all it can ever do.

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