Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • Only Skin

      Looking up at the night sky that’s littered with meteors and old paint cans, I remember lying down in the middle of a road while drunk and in awe of her beauty. She was dancing in circles, and as my head rested against cold asphalt, her eyes were brighter than the stars that awaited… Read more

  • The Signal

      These buildings contain the shadows of the man I once was, as do so many deserted streets. The trees are a witness to my transformation. They speak to me of old house parties and awkward liaisons in darkened rooms while drunk and on the verge of puking. It’s strange now to think of such… Read more

  • Soul Stuff

      When I’m asleep, and all my ex-lovers are floating outside my window, she appears in the mirror and slips through from her world to mine. She is the cure for my illness, a trick of the light that bends itself against blacked out eyes. The rest are serpents. Whores in sheep’s clothing, or maybe… Read more

  • Lonely Wreckage

      On the shoulders of dead neighbourhoods, she tiptoes to catch a glimpse of those she thinks are prettier. With her fingers cold from winter sun she digs them deep and swallows away the anxiety that’s been with her for so many seasons. Floating down the Avenue as the parade moves into the distance, she… Read more

  • Mount Fuji

      In the glove compartment, there’s a paper orchid. In his pocket, there’s a stone with his lover’s initials carved deeper than love. The sound of laughter, and the rattle of teeth from a mouth that’s tasted death more than it should’ve. Bellies of desire that sit hunched in pain and anguish. The beautiful ones… Read more

  • Heart of Scars

      As she drinks a milkshake in some seedy downtown cafe, a thousand foxes have their bellies torn open in an act of vengeance carried out by those who have no names. As the blood creeps to our feet, a sudden downpour saves us from being tainted, and I smile, although I’m not sure why.… Read more

  • Dead By Tomorrow

      There’s something in the way her photograph lingers in the back of my mind. It comes alive after several beers while listening to ‘Finally We Are No One‘. Such a mixture of sadness and beauty that remind me of lying in bed as a child imagining what it would be like to die. She must… Read more

  • Lonesome Traveler

      Each word renounces the life we have chosen to leave behind. Every sentence that follows, an act of defiance in the face of those that wanted so much for us to become more for real. Surface beauty tempts, but surface is surface, nothing else. The comfort of what they sell is a difficult bitch to… Read more

  • Cathedral Hill

      Dreams of being strangled by my mother’s umbilical chord as I fall out of bed and land in the summer of ’06. Market stalls and mouth organs while rolling cigarettes as the rain comes down so hard it makes me want to take her right there and then, yet my thirst for alcohol can’t… Read more

  • Butterfly Kisses

      There’s an infinite sprawl of tiny memories that come alive when I catch an hours sleep after work. They dance and fit behind my eyes, but every time I try and catch them, they slip away leaving me to fall. Dreams of buildings, of green lawns and summer sun, but something is missing, and… Read more