Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • The Lighthouse

      Above everything else, I think about the frozen lake. As music flows through the half-open door, falling snow recreates her face. From the city to the sea, and through decorated trees. The landscape is hidden. All swans, invisible. Treading delicately, she melts everything around her. Winter sun, dancing souls upon what was once running… Read more

  • Moonchild

      Breathing the scent of your freshly washed hair, it goes against the melancholy that stains me. Staying up late into the early hours, the darkness outside my window comforts my fragile mind. Others are out partying and dancing to the sounds of sounds, yet I remain submerged in imagery. It would be easier to… Read more

  • Monday May 31, 2004

    My testicular scan is tomorrow, which is worrying, yet at the same time good, as I can get it out of the way. I’m pretty sure it’s due to a build up of fluid, but there’s always the chance that it’s going to be bad news, so I’ll just have to wait and see. The… Read more

  • Monsters

      The days chew me up and spit me out as if I were a piece of gum, yet I’m still writing after all these years. While others settle down to become obedient little machines, as night comes crawling, I’m far away, dancing with the shadows that haunt my mind. They don’t all haunt; some… Read more

  • Surf the Night

      I kissed your throat, yet I still hate myself. There’s no destination I have in mind, not even your bed. Not even the drunken swaying of a man whose bleeding himself empty for the sake of his art. Or maybe it’s a lost lover, forever haunting just out of view. Either way, when I… Read more

  • The Magician

      The colours of love like the beads of sweat that trickle down your thighs. The scent of war in my greasy hands and the taste of wet memories as headlights illuminate worn out figures with nowhere left to go. Writing takes me to an elevated state. Mix it with beer, and you’ve got the… Read more

  • 3:01 am

    The slightest of movements. The flickering of a light as you wake with shortened breath. It’s raining. Early hours. The only soul left in the universe. Silence is all there is, and as you struggle to comprehend your own mortality, you sit drenched in sweat on the edge of the bed. Time slips through your… Read more

  • One More Night

      As I write, I imagine you naked on my bed with an abacus upon your belly. Sliding beads of infinite numbers, you watch me while I pluck illusion from the moonlit sky. Blinded by the dazzling lights of memory and truth, the cigarette drops from the corner of my mouth. Hands around your legs.… Read more

  • Choke

      Some people know nothing. In fact, make that most of them. They know little of love that’s for sure. As for pain, they think they know it, yet what they feel is only the tip of the iceberg. They’ve only scratched the surface, and it’s a long way down to the bottom. It’s at… Read more

  • Glimpses of Images

      Drinking wine, blood trickles from my busted knuckle. The red mist took hold, just for a second, but I lost it nonetheless. A phantom in the throes of fantasy, I was snapped out of my little taste of bliss. Somewhere nearby, I hear the keys of a piano being played so sullenly it eases… Read more