Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • One of Those Moods

    “I know you’ve told me already, but tell me again. Take pity on me.” “Hmm,” she mumbles before sipping her beer. “Hachikō was a dog who lived in Japan in the early twentieth century. As a loyal and obedient mutt, he would go to meet his owner at the train station after he finished work.… Read more

  • “What made you choose that name?” I ask. Giving me more evols, this time it’s her turn to be the one rolling her eyes. “Ugh, you don’t listen to a single thing I say, do you?” “What do you mean?” “I’ve told you about Hachikō before.” “Have you?” “Yes—and once again it seems as though… Read more

  • Hachikō

    “You did that on purpose!” she hisses. Pulling away from my touch, she gives me the evols and peels off the label on her bottle of beer. I remember hearing when I was a student that to peel off such labels represented underlying sexual frustration. It’s why I stopped doing it myself. No need to… Read more

  • A Mouthful of Scuzz

    “You’re thinking of something hurtful to say, aren’t you?” Sipping my beer, I eye her body as the sun washes over it the same way the summer rain washes away my sins. It’s as milky as I’ve ever seen. Her body. Not the sun. Although both are a source of life to me, and even… Read more

  • A Responsible Lover

    “Why are you always so mean to me? You put me down whenever you can, even if I’m trying to be nice to you.” Standing over the dog, she scrunches up the towel and chucks it through the open door of the bathroom. The dog seems disappointed and looks at me with a frown. “I’m… Read more

  • Always Your Way

    “You don’t treat me how I deserve to be treated,” she says, rubbing the dog’s ears with the towel. The dog loves it. Cocking his head to one side, he scratches himself with his paw. He doesn’t need to, but the pleasure is too much for him to bear. “Do you mean as a woman,… Read more

  • Pleasure Machine

    Waltzing back into the room, she hands me one of the beers. Swigging from it before pressing the cold bottle against my forehead, I watch as she places the dog down onto the floor between her bare feet. Removing the towel wrapped around her body, she begins to dry the thing while speaking to it… Read more

  • Box You Up

    The first thing I see is not what I expect to see. Instead of her beaming face, the dog’s wet nose pokes from behind the door. Creeping menacingly, his snout emerges with her humming the theme from Jaws. I say she’s humming it; she’s trying to but can’t because of her constant giggling. After a… Read more

  • Mean Ol’ Disease

    With her hand on the doorknob, the bathroom door opens an inch and then no more. “Are you ready for us?” she asks. I am, and yet for some reason, my mind has wandered again. “Sure am,” I say, lying. In the seconds before her reappearance, I’m taken back to a random fear from my… Read more

  • Down In It

    “Are you ready for us?” she eagerly asks from behind the door. Although I’m not doing anything other than looking up at the ceiling, I’m not ready at all. I wish to remain by myself a while longer. Perhaps the words I’m searching for will appear. Rising through the cracks in the floorboards, they’ll tickle… Read more