Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • So yeah, the third volume of A Journal for Damned Lovers, due to be published later in the year, will be the last in the series. Kinda strange they’ll be no more, and yet the third volume will be a fitting end to an incredible four-year journey. What comes next? The next project will see… Read more

  • Sideways

      Down by the river and I’m swaying from side to side. Dropped my tobacco at some point after leaving the pub. Was too dark to find, so I swore and moved on. And now I’m here. There are voices in the air. They’re coming from the direction of town. Drunken voices with a hint… Read more

  • Heavy Rain

      You fall asleep clutching a half-eaten packet of Quavers. Taking them from your hand, I place them in my lap and then rest my head on yours while looking out the window. It’s been raining since yesterday and won’t stop. Everywhere’s flooded. Even our hearts. With a little food in your belly, you felt… Read more

  • Sunflowers

    Waiting for the bus, I smoke to pass the time while you suffer alone in God’s curse complaining that your belly hurts and you’re going to be sick. It’s not that I’m uncaring, it’s just there’s not much I can do to help you. After all, it’s God, and I’m just a little man. Just… Read more

  • The Plague

      Summer nights of wine and filterless cigarettes as the town danced outside our window. Balmy hours of strange new music and the distant hum of London that pushed and pulled our adolescent heads in all directions. Those days of painting. Those moments of oil on canvas and the first steps of trying to make… Read more

  • Magic Carpet

      Beneath the snow by the side of the road, there’s a promise of what you could be. A future butterfly. A bud waiting to shoot into some kind of new moon that will brighten these cold and biting days. Here and there, a bird comes down from the sky and looks about before returning… Read more

  • With Teeth

    It snows but it’s sunny, and the world is a tangled mess of drinkers and dreamers. Each snowflake that lands upon my outstretched hand is a gift from no one, but such a thing is a gift in itself, and it makes me smile despite my lips being cracked and about ready to bleed. Sometimes I’m… Read more

  • Pluck’d

      As you pluck your eyebrows looking into a mirror smeared with fingerprints, I’m drifting about on the verge of some existential crisis. It’s the fourth time this week. Glancing at me as I stand in the corner of the room sniffing my fingers, you frown at my erratic behaviour while pulling out a stubborn… Read more

  • Bright Young Things

      Getting dressed, we leave the house and you lead me on a merry dance through the nearby woods. After what feels like an age, you sit me down on the trunk of a fallen tree far from the prying eyes of others, and when you kiss me, the sadness in my bones slips away… Read more

  • In Your Gaze

    Between the passing hours, I think about that swimming pool I used to go to when I was a kid, and how you show me those days by spreading yourself so wide. The magic is real, and as I skip around drunk and on the brink, there’s nothing anyone can say that will dissuade me… Read more