Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

DamnedLovers

  • Down the stairwell opposite the cinema. Got a cold so I press my finger against my left nostril and shoot snot from the other that flies through the air then out of sight. Got some tobacco in my back pocket but whenever I smoke my throat burns and life feels desperately cruel so I refrain.… Read more

  • Child of Her Time

    The hours run away. They slip and slide like the tiny feet of the ducks and swans that glide over the frozen lake in her lunchtime dreams. Behind those eyes of hers, the world blooms, and there’s no such thing as heartache and no such thing as pain, and life is this one long car… Read more

  • Dirty Little Secret

    Children rush past me on their way to some gathering that means the world to them. Their laughter makes me smile even though I’m hungry, and when I’m hungry, there’s no lifting my mood until food works its way into this greedy, should-know-better belly of mine. I keep seeing her from the corner of my… Read more

  • Panda Eyes

    I’m near the village where she used to live with her dad. Haven’t been here in years. Feels much the same as it used to, though. The same roads and parks. The same ghosts. Apparitions. Call them what you will. Getting off the train, I walk along the main high street and pop into a… Read more

  • Unseen Pinky Lips

    Don’t write these thoughts down on actual paper that much. Used to. Back when I was a younger man before the arrival of grey hairs and the stains on my teeth and the rings around my bleary eyes that keep growing no matter how much I wish they wouldn’t. It’s a Sunday. God’s day, or… Read more

  • Starry Night

    Some guy on the sidewalk sweeps broken glass and another looks up at the sky with a look on his face suggesting he’s got no clue as to what’s going on at all. It’s the look I wear every day without fail. The shards of glass glisten and shimmer on the ground. The noise they… Read more

  • Sonic Youth

    Dreams of doors, of outlines in the sand, and then I take her by the hand and tell her what’s to be seen, and what’s to be seen is what they won’t ever show us for fear of what we might do with the answers. There’s music by Tom Waits. Some creeping tune that leads… Read more

  • Good Luck Charm

    The sky is a sea, or so she thinks. As for me, I’m inspecting the blood beneath my fingernails. It’s smeared across the keyboard of my laptop. Should clean it, but there’s an idea in me and I’m doing my best to squeeze it out like a turd that just won’t drop. Leaning back in… Read more

  • Looking for a Reason

    The rain smells like dog breath. Turning her nose up at it, she peers out from under the market stall and eyes the gathering clouds as they swarm overhead. The rain hits the pavement and kicks up a stink that makes her feel queasy. Makes her belly heave like she be drinking but that was… Read more

  • A Taste for Chemicals

    There’s a beggar smoking a joint and she sniffs the scent and shakes her head like a cat chewing a mouse. The beggar has a cup by his feet, but it’s late in the day and looks like he’s not expecting any money. He’s sitting beneath the bridge that connects the poor side of town… Read more