The Lights of Our Minds

lighthouse

A car alarm in the dead of night. Sleepless and wide awake. The town shimmers far below, it looks so beautiful from such great heights. The animals circle us as we dance. The birds in the sky swooping down to give us their flight. Old people with their grocery lists. With trembling bottom lips, they move as if already with one foot in the grave. Comatose, somewhat dead. The living empty mirrored every which way you turn. Buildings for dying people. Greasy spoons where they pass their time waiting for the hand above to flick them out of existence. Like ants they come and go. Like the weather, they pass without you ever really feeling them on your skin. It’s nothing to worry about. Just another one of my turns. Just a passing feeling where at long last I find the secret of my rage. The truth of my disdain. Slumped over the steering wheel, the flashing lights hypnotize me. The ringing of a bell to signal the coming of a train, yet for the life of me I can’t seem to shift myself.

Fast food places in the early hours. Drunken appetites along with hazy faces. They’ll be nothing left in the morning, only pieces never to be put back together again. Veins plucked clean out. Fragments of uniform buried deep in the snow. Mountains in the darkness. Born again through the beautification of the spirit. Know yourself. Trust yourself. Follow all whims. Eat junk food and sleep like it were your first time. A baby reborn, and thirsty for mothers milk. Forced smiles in a photograph. Too lonely. Success can’t bring them back, it only brings contempt and for a damn good reason. Children snorkel in pools of dyed urine. They corrupt at will just like you used to. Stand with your back against the wall and know what it feels like to be alone. A million miles from home, and with no one to hold your hand. Seven layers of shit, smeared like lipstick across your pouting, girly lips. One minute you’re against the world, the next just another face in a sea of doomed respectability.

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