5am On a Train to Purgatory Island


They sit around not knowing. They gaze at their wrapped sandwiches feeling as though they used to be alive. The ones that wear suits are no better. They try and pretend but I can see in their faces that they don’t have a clue. Images can’t cover truth. A desperate sense of longing will always shine even through the thickest of skins. Drinking can’t soothe a thirst for something more. Oblivion can’t help you escape from the path that needs walking. Love can’t save. It eases the pain, but it can’t keep your head above the waves. Salvation from within. Money doesn’t heal lonely souls. Money can’t keep you from dissolving into the stratosphere as if you never even existed at all. These days of endurance, they teach me that to survive, I need to conjure old ghosts. They show me that the only way to realisation is though repetition. Perseverance breeds grit. Until there’s nothing left, these bones will feed the machines of fate as I see fit. Remember the days and never let them go. The traces of everything we are, is all we will ever have. The lows not to be feared. Lonesome reflection not your enemy, but a clue to life. Look closer, and see the stains on my teeth. Taste the rain as it pours outside like a broken tap. Birds with broken wings. Cancer survivors with walking sticks. Dangerous animals and overweight celebrities. Fake white teeth and colossal fake tits. The English countryside speeds past like a blurred photograph. A painting left outside in a garden whilst tempers flare in the kitchen. Thrown cutlery and raised voices. Creation in my hands, and disdain upon my lips. Heart attacks on the corner of a high street where insects gawp at a proud mans final dying breath. Coffee shops our salvation. Rewind everything and let them see what it takes to be a speaker of all things sullen. Captured but not defeated. Snared in the trap of modern life yet not enslaved. Trees and bridges and burnt out cars as the sun collides with a thousand unwritten words. Skin blistered by childhood dreams, my desires are here for all to see. Failure so pretty. Pain so beautiful when we dare to shake free of tired ideas. When things fall apart, just put on your favourite record and know that I feel the same. Despite my indifference, inside of me is a night that stretches across the universe. The hours will never leave me. They will never, ever end.

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