Lethargy

florence1

Old buildings and stairwells to the coffee stains on your favourite books. Eyes wide as the road brings us faces and stories that change with every passing hour. Feelings in the pit of our stomachs, washed away to some other place with all those endless bottles of warm beer. The sky is always grey. No movement. The days stay the same until darkness swallows all. These atoms in my body don’t represent me. They contain what I am, yet not who I am. Flesh and bone hold no interest to inquisitive minds. They bind us to the damned. They sink us beneath the waves. Not friends, only an enemy in poor disguise. The concrete steps where so many cigarettes were stubbed out. Old flower pots full of rain and dead slugs. Dust and sand, flowing through the letterbox as we slept through so many pointless hours. Pieces of torn memory come and go, just like the sense of apprehension as the women from my past scorn me for being so selfish. The arrows of a poisoned mind, inflicting upon itself fully aware of a lifetime of mistakes and regrets. Picking away as the breeze calls me home, the words fail replaced by lethargy. Draw the curtains, go back to bed. Leave your problems behind on my pillow. It’s in what lies beyond the temporary veil of our design. It’s in the nature of my chemistry. Bloodshot eyes looking back in the mirror, the man within is not the same as the man without. Two different people. Two halves never coming together as one. The blanket wraps me in mystery. It keeps me safe from harm. There should be something more, but not today. Bodies can wait. Sensations replaced with the dulling taste of scabs. Keep your promises, and keep your cheapened hearts. Let me float downstream. Let me vanish in bubbles of thought. Visions always visions. Infinity so kind.

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