Wednesday July 30, 2008

Mating rituals on concrete. Certain people facing certain means of extinction. Snap their necks, and cut off their hair. Rip off their balls, and stamp on them until they bleed and bleed. Then, take their women, and show them what it means to be a man. Open up your skin by pushing in those fingers, and then in a flash, they’re blinded. I’ll stop time and make the sun disappear, and in darkness against closed eyes, I’ll do as I please. Old towns by the sea, grey and dull. In the streets, I made my way. I made my way to nowhere. I saw this girl and I imagined what it would be like to fuck her in a field of corn with crows crowing overhead in a sky of blue, but then I knew it would involve time travel, something they say is impossible. I was almost there the other day. Masturbating, I focused as hard as I could and for a moment I was back. In the sun, by a river, with several women. I could breathe in the air of that moment, and I could smell their perfume. It was time travel but not as we know it. I tried again, to go back one night several months ago when there was this girl at the top of the stairs hitching up her skirt. I tried hard but as I came, my mind wandered and I failed. I was watching this woman putting out her washing, and she looked up at me. I despise this woman. She’s a meter across the hips. Just like a scene from a movie. I was suffocating in my room. I came alive in the midnight hour. I travelled on trains to nowhere, but then I arrived and was even more nowhere than I imagined. It came in a wave. There was some girl in a bar that looked like the little boy from ‘Flight of the Navigator’. I imagined what her pussy looked like.

I was back in an old house with some guy looking at me through the window as the rain pissed down outside. As I was trying to fall asleep some nights ago, I heard my next door neighbours have a heart-to-heart in their back garden. I heard them kissing and looked to see if they were holding each other. The bloke had his hand up her top. The sight of this momentarily excited me, but then I remembered she’d had four kids with four different men and her body is most likely riddled with stretch marks and the memories of decades full of cheap sex and lower class blowjobs, so I watched the Langoliers instead. There’s nothing I want to do, nothing except drink Redbull and write about fucking sisters in fields of corn right out of a Van Gogh painting. Beheadings at the seaside, there’s another thought. I was listening to the Blade Runner soundtrack, haunting as it is, and imagined what it would be like to step sideways and creep up on someone, myself especially. Old photographs, topless photographs, they made me go blind. Lay those hips down on a pillow and place those lips on the section of flesh that is split. The deadly streets, they remain neon, waiting for me to make a mistake. My gums were bleeding as I smoked a cigarette; they’ll bleed me like they bleeded you. Dont let them take me in my sleep. I’m a vampire, for all to see. Citizens of the United Kingdom, watching television as the insects creep on leaves, cities that never breathe, women that never give. Dont put me in a cage. I remember a Sunday in the sun and I was in hell, visually at least. I could go on but I won’t.

4 replies »

  1. Reading this is like being battered by the waves on a dark stormy night. In case you’re wondering, I bet you aren’t though, that’s a really good thing: invigorating, making me feel ALIVE. Simply amazing x

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