All I desire


Life is tale of endless missed opportunities and lost love. It plagues my dreams, forever disturbing the thoughts I live for. It lets me down. People let me down. You have to become like them, that’s how it goes. Written in stone since birth, there’s no other option. Either you mirror everyone else, or you end up a writer drinking beer after beer at night searching for a truth that always seems to be one step ahead. Or maybe it’s two steps behind, I can’t decide. Either way, all I want is to celebrate boredom. All I desire is to create a vision built upon the shoulders of giants. Fitting in with others is of no interest. To see myself accepted by those around me, it appals my sensibilities. And no matter how many times I tell them, they never seem to comprehend that I despise all that they stand for. That their ghastly faces bring my nausea racing to the surface. To love another is not key. To cling to some other won’t solve your problems. The problem is you, and no amount of relationships can change the skin you’re in. You just have to bite the bullet. Have to take that mirror in hand, and gaze at what you see within. Reflections. Seeds of wonder. Heartbreak is what drives me to succeed. I’m a nobody, but my words give me an opportunity to escape the dreary routines worshipped by my contemporaries. They adore their dreams of marriage and mortgages, yet just the thought leaves me feeling ill. There’s no beauty in their thinking, only the cold comfort of in between. To succeed isn’t to do the same, it’s to put yourself out on a limb. To take a risk in something you believe in. To fight the darkness, and to shine a light. Sometimes it’s so hard to even breathe, but then my dreams take me to a place that destroys every last doubt. Years mean nothing in the face of seconds worth of truth. Realise who you are. Do what you feel inside. Be an idiot. Taste shame. Be deluded. Others are always second best when they refuse to accept you as you are. Leave them behind safe in the knowledge that there are some out there who feel the same way. Who see the same things. Don’t let these ones eat you up, just scrape them off and keep on trying. Ignore their doubtful concerns, and treat them like pieces of dust, for that’s all they’ll ever be. Keep it together until the ghosts come, for when they do, they’ll surely take you to a place you’ll truly belong.

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