Strange Days

twinpeaks

 

Keep perfectly still. Don’t get upset. There’s nothing wrong; it’s just as it should be. Broken hearts. Drinking problems. Lost souls wandering like stray dogs on a taunting beach. Cold, harsh winds, and the scent of despair mixed with billion-year-old grains of sand. Such tiny little artefacts, slipping through your fingers as the hours pass invisibly. We were once together, although not anymore. There was once only love, though now it’s been replaced by a strangeness that never seems to shift. Walking in circles, the sidewalk looks the same yet you don’t pay any attention. People watch but never see. The world says it cares though we’re both old enough to know it’s just a lie. We said no secrets. We said only the truth. My mind is not my own. It belongs to someone else, and I’m reduced to that of a mere passenger. Death stalks the nameless corridors from which there’s no escape. It haunts as these fingers type while listening to music we once made love to. No, it wasn’t love. It was sex. Fucking out of frenzy, a collision of two damaged souls meeting square on. Nursing a hangover, the leaves in the garden say nothing to me as I sit there under a cloud. Dressed in pyjamas, the sun warms my bones as in a tree to my right, crows fight and squawk worsening my headache. They don’t anger me, though, for they’re beautiful and pure and as my stomach takes a turn for the worse, I imagine seeing the world through your eyes. What monsters would I find? What ugliness would I see before wanting to avert my gaze? In such a tender heart, what darkness would I discover if I plunged my hands deep inside your chest? The trees bend in the wind, and I wish above everything that I was sat in a field of golden corn instead. The distant sounds of traffic worsen my nausea, although I’m not sure how. These days of conditioning, of biding my time until I’m worthy of standing amongst others. To dance a waltz, and to paint pictures on the side of your face with my fingers. To smear the colour of love upon your chin, and to make you mine beneath a shameless sky.

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