Memento

memento

It’s been a dark year, and now it’s a dark season, yet there’s a light in my hand that tells me it’s okay. A shy smile caught from the corner of an eye; it told me that life should be enjoyed, not endured. This is all nothingness, nothing but dust, but that’s what makes it so special. You won’t get me celebrating by visiting a famous landmark or bungee jumping though. I mean, they say you should live life to the full, but don’t be fucking stupid. Living life is about exploring every inch of your imagination, daydreaming for weeks on end, visualizing everything that can never be because of those dim laws of rationality that get in the way. Life is sweet, but it’s a cage, a room you can never escape from. As Dylan once sang, even the birds are chained to the sky. There’s a fog outside my window; there’s a lover dancing in its glow. From my bed to the beach there’s only the sound of your laughter and the taste of sweetness that still knows how to destroy so easily. Golden summers, and the ringing in your ears that tells you this is only a warning. The way you feel cheap when you lie just to impress those around you to make someone else jealous. I dont buy it. I do buy into limbo, though. I buy into black holes and dead heat too. No God to save us, just nature, pointless nature. No need to dream up the origin, just dream up stuff to keep us going instead. I think back to my past. It makes me sick and ashamed, the way I used to pretend, the way they still do. It shames me to know I was like that, but now I’m not, for all I long for is the truth. Holding a cigarette, I walked in the darkness and listened to that perfect sorrowful voice as it came to me through the breeze. I’ve been such a fool, such a trapped soul in a maze with no exit in sight, but now I’ve found a way out at last. Floating with darkly dreaming hands and visions that pulsate beneath, the truth of whatever makes me smile regardless. Wrapping itself around a ghost, I placed a book on the ground and drew a ring of fire that made me happy, that gave me a release that only you would dare know.

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