The Great Reducer

woman

 

You can’t save yourself in the eyes of who you claim to love, just as you can’t hide from the one who looks back at you in the mirror. Bury yourself in work. Hide behind a facade as flimsy as a paper house. It’s all for show, and it means as little as a promise uttered after climax. All those delirious moments of passion now lost forever except in scattered minds that shatter at the merest of touches. To think of all those unions in darkness with my arm around your throat as ours hips grinded to the point of exhaustion. To think of the words I whispered into your ear wishing only to reduce you. It’s a game of give and take. It’s a war that fans the flames I try so hard to deny. The silence that follows the storm, as natural as the way you dry your hair by leaning your head out the window. Tell me every detail of what it means to be you. Let me breathe in the scent of your body knowing that nothing can be realer than the traces you leave behind on warm bedsheets. It’s been so long, but I keep you alive the best I can. It’s a lonely life at times, yet all you can do is keep on going, haunted or not. On the verge of despair, always remember how my fingers brought you to the brink of extinction. Always remember, when we were the only two souls in the world. In a room without windows. In a room that gave birth only to death. Remember the pain, and speak only of the love that helped us through. So strange these days. So unreal when I think of all that should have been. The three of us reduced to two, and now only one. These days, how they leave me so confused. There are other worlds than these; there are places where things make sense. Read my words, and travel back to where it all began. Kiss the rain and hold me tight. Hold me like you mean it, only this time, never let me go.

15 replies »

  1. Such passion. And wisdom too: “and it means as little as a promise uttered after climax.” I’m sure I’ve said it before but you make darkness and pain sound… enticing x

    • It’s strange how darkness and pain entice, isn’t it? I wouldn’t say I enjoy them, yet every time they have entered my life, I’ve been forever changed. Pleasure is nice, but it’s always so fleeting. Pain sticks around, and the conversations you have with it always seem to be far more complex and rewarding than laughter x

      • Yes! I completely agree, it’s been my own experience too.
        You know, the theory is that great empires (like Rome and Ancient Egypt) collapsed because of (too put it simply and crudely) too much happiness. When people are happy they don’t need to strive and if there’s no NEED, then it just doesn’t happen. I’ve always done my best work when in the throes of dark,violent emotions.
        I’ve noticed that so many bands or artists turn out brilliant first albums but then become mediocre as soon as they’ve achieved proper success. They seem to reach that plateau, where they just stagnate and are unable to go forward anymore.
        I passionately believe that it’s a *rare* talent that keeps producing amazing work even when they have reached that ‘security’ level whether emotionally or financially or both.
        Sorry if I digressed, your comment just automatically sent my thoughts in a spiral. Lol x

      • I agree with every word you said. My best work is done while single and raging against the world. When I find myself in a relationship, I become complacent. It’s been like that my entire life. And I know what you mean about artists running out of steam after their initial vision. It’s so easy to have fire in your belly when it’s ‘you against the world’, but as soon as the world has heard your voice, things become safe. In an effort to not make the same mistakes I’ve made in the past, I keep reminding myself that I’m going to die. The nature of mortality is something love nor money can cheat, so whenever I begin to feel comfortable, I strike the fear of death into myself. Simple yet effective, if not a little morbid πŸ™‚ x

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