When I take her, I’m trying my best to erase the stains of every lover she’s ever had. The harder I go, the more she struggles to catch her breath. She needs to know that I’m the only one. That even before she knew me, she was cheating by laying with another. There’s a part of me that wants to hold her in my arms and shower her with kisses- treat her like an angel, like she’s the only girl in the world. But at the same time, I want to break her, to watch the tears roll down her cheeks as I do my best to render her useless by pushing her closer and closer to the edge. Her body is mine; it shall always be mine. Even after I’m gone, she will never recover. My signature between her legs, she’ll be forever tainted by my seed. To grab her hair with my left hand and squeeze her breast with my right. To push her face against the wall; to tell her that she’s my whore. That she’ll always be my whore. Mine, and no one else’s. There’s something in me that needs to reduce; something that chases death. In her body, and in her soul, I’m looking for a way out even though all I want is to cling onto life with everything I have. The pleasures of gazing into the abyss and reaching out a hand to touch the nothingness that calls my name so sweetly. Inside of her, she holds the secret I crave more than anything. She is the door, and I am the key. There’s a sadness in me that will never be cured. A wasteland in my heart where nothing grows. It’s in my bones; it’s ancestral. She’s my lioness. She helps keep me from losing myself, from disappearing completely. It’s a game we play so well. Love and hate. Shame and affection. I never tell her how I feel, except when I’m degrading her in the early hours, and she remains silent even when I whisper my fears into her ear as fluid passes from my loins to hers. When I slip my fingers into her mouth, she bites until she breaks the skin and draws blood. When it’s over, she tends to my wounds so sincerely; so apologetically. I confess my guilt, but she won’t listen, she just feeds me her kiss until we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.