Journal

mememememe

 

I’ve written so many words these past two years. Going through and editing them for ‘Damned Lovers’, I’m struck by the journey I’ve been on, and where it continues to take me. Every day, I write a fresh piece as well as editing older ones ready for publication, not to mention putting in shifts on the novel. The last time I didn’t write anything was July 4th- the day before my 31st birthday. There have been times when I’ve tried to take a night off, but it’s been impossible. At the moment, I’ve got just over three hundred pieces equalling somewhere in the region of one hundred thousand words. Ideally, I’ll get it down to ninety thousand, which means I can lose some of the weaker stuff. In the early days, I wrote about a girl I was in love with who wasn’t in love with me. To think back to those lonely evenings. My words were all for her- every feeling explored on paper in an attempt to win her back. So much has happened since then, and my writing has gone from being a mere tool in a game of kiss chase to being my lifeblood. Providing I don’t die, ‘Damned Lovers’ will land late Autumn 2016. That gives me enough time to make it as strong as it can be. Without you, my dear readers, and the support you have given me, this journey would have ended long ago. With all my heart, I hope to create something special that you enjoy reading. It’s much more than about grabbing a load of pre-existing pieces and throwing them together. I’ve already spent four months editing, and they’ll be several more left before it’s all ready. The cover is done, in my head at least. Some of you who have been following me for a while might remember it from the early days. This isn’t the end of something; it’s merely the beginning. A celebration of awakening, of keeping going at something when the easiest thing would have been to have called it quits. But where would the fun be in that? Failure is beautiful. Delusion vital. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the past couple of years, it’s that there is no destination. It’s all about the footsteps we take. To go with open eyes and heart. Being sad isn’t a weakness, and being lonely isn’t something to be ashamed of. If you handle them right, they can be used as weapons. They can be used to communicate with others who feel the same way. Life hurts, but that’s what makes it so beautiful.

51 replies »

  1. It is amazing what you’ve accomplished and will accomplish. Congrats on your upcoming book release. I might add, your eyes are as intense in the photo as your writing depicts. A beautiful truth, “To go with open eyes and heart.” Keep living it.

  2. I look forward to the publication of your book, you must be very proud, you should be. I can see a maturity of thoughts and words as you move along this path. My best wishes and positive thought go out to you.

  3. I’m choked…your words resonate in so many ways…the passion that lives in your writing is all too evident, and you’re right, there is “no destination”, it’s about living and living fully, unbridled…I am looking forward to “Damned Lovers” and will be behind you 100% x

  4. “Provided I don’t die.” *Grin* Don’t do that, please. I enjoy reading your words. There is a ‘natural’ intensity about you that (most) others have to work hard to fake. I’d miss it. πŸ™‚ One day if you are bored, ask me what Synesthesia is. I have it – and your writing always tickles it πŸ™‚ Keep doing what you’re doing. Sam

    • I’ll try not too πŸ™‚ Thank you, I’m glad you think so, that means a lot to me. I have a vague idea of what Synesthesia is, but I won’t ask you now- I’ll keep you on your toes and ask when you’ve let your guard down. I hope you are well and that the weekend has been kind to you Sam x

  5. I am absolutely thrilled for you – and want a signed copy. You are such an inspiration of those of us (me) more fearful of picking out heart pieces to throw into paper, hoping the blood dries quickly. How excellent, you need to put this out into the world as a tangible piece of you that we can all hold onto. ❀

    • Your wish is my desire πŸ™‚ I’m so happy you’re excited by the idea. It’s a great honor for me to be able to do this, and to know it’s something you want is heavenly. I hope you are well, and I hope the day has been a nice one for you x

      • Absolutely. There should be more like you…but then again, not. I hate for your suffering, as for mine, but the words have their own needs entirely. You are wonderful. ❀

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