Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Disappear Here

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Warm spunk, ready to cover a temple of imperfection. Ready to infect and desecrate all that I deem fit. There’s not enough truth in fluid. Not enough viscera. Sucking mouths and breasts. Placing fingers in pink, fleshy holes. Swallowing sermons that no longer exist. Those nipples that long to be chewed, and the lips she never kisses with, flowering before me like stars in the sky. Those child-bearing hips, the ones that sing to me when I’m feeling down. Tickling her insides, from her toes to the nape of her neck, I claim the bite marks as my own. There are no limits to my nature. The marriage of my hands and the conflict of my tongue offering little in way of clues. Just the thought of it makes my balls shrivel to the size of peas. Makes me implode like dying dreams. There could be nothing worse, save for being set on fire or having my fingers crushed by slabs of concrete as the knife repeatedly slashes at my back. She’s mine to destroy. I own every inch of her vanilla body, inside and out. And that’s not what I say, it’s how it is. It’s how always been. Languishing is not an option. Succumbing like the grey buildings and abandoned fairground rides won’t be allowed. The dead guide me, always pushing me towards a fate that was born in the heart of yesterday. The future seeks me out; It’s been waiting all this time. Galaxies long dead, destroyed by black holes and the will of God. The dark realms of oblivion, now flowing through my veins and pumping into her as she lays there at my mercy. Separating, splitting. My flesh is nothing; it’s all about the shapes beneath. Dark energy. Boundless rage and turmoil. The language of the unknown as she presses up against me drenched in sweat. Hushed cries and muffled sighs, escaping from mouths on the brink of extinction. The singularity of secrets, raining down like lovers. Nobody knows what I am. Those with whom I’m stranded with, so unaware of what drives me. So blissfully ignorant of the beauty that stalks them. Only the heavens can say my name as angels and demons dance upon my spine singing songs of pornographic love.

8 responses to “Disappear Here”

  1. I like this…it’s raw as it should be.

    1. Thank you 🙂 I’m glad you like the rawness. I haven’t been raw like this in a while.

      1. straight from from the gut…it’s the only way!

  2. Did I just mention the dark vein that pulsates through your writing? I should have kept that comment for this 😉 x

    1. Seeing as though you enjoy it so much, I shall make it happen more often. It will be a healthy/unhealthy journey into the abyss 🙂 x

  3. I agree that it was raw but there’s a soft and sensual nature to this piece. An overwhelming domination at the heart of this, with such passion running through the core. Quite what I needed to wake me up before my early morning run. It’s a bit like eating ice-cream while walking across hot coals.

    1. I’m find this description really enchanting, thank you. And I’m glad I was able to assist your preparations for your run 🙂 I always like the light/dark approach to writing. Heavy/soft. Loud /quiet. When you have two styles dancing arm in arm, it makes for a great waltz x

      1. I believe that one cannot possibly exist without the other. Lightest of touches can only be so if the opposite is felt. It is the contrast that heightens the senses/perception. I’m possibly treading on dangerous ground here. x

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