Sometimes Yes

 

 

You put the bullet in the chamber like coffee in the pot. All those days spreading like cancer around swollen tongues. Shaken baby syndrome and nicotine stained fingers playing a tiny violin on cute little wrists. Blood on the dirty asphalt and tyre tracks leading to an overturned car on the side of an unlit road. These dreams could take me anywhere, yet instead, they take me here. The ghosts of dead memories. Torn off cocks and tinned food destined to remain forever uneaten. Take photographs of rape victims. Remove disfigured limbs making sure not to inhale the sweat of pungent flesh. Hung thoughts at each and every turn. This is not what I had in mind. This existence of precision so suffocating with every forced breath. Coerced into believing something not to my liking, the distant wail of screams babbles like those a beaten child. Mountains at the foot of my bed. Distance so unreal when living between unseen mirrors. Hack off my fingers then heal my wounds with sinner’s salt. Punish me for daring to stay true to who I am. Put me in a box. Drown me in equations. Bring me the heads of all those not yet ready to succumb to my vision. Let me rid myself of these thoughts that know no end. Beneath the surface, they rage like a sex plague. From Syria to Istanbul, the blood flows like wine. From Portland Oregon to the barren lands of Reindeer Lake, there’s no telling what’s heaven or hell. Explore her body with itchy fingers. Set fire to the homeless. Drink beer and fall asleep with the TV on. Pick away at the holes that let in doubt. Puke up blood. So wretched these afternoons where nothing ever happens.

19 replies »

  1. Been right behind to pick up the battered and busted children….
    Myra- in another life…

  2. To X, Alas, sad to say this is not a fairy tale…it is the darkest pieces of the human nature: damaged people, damaging those who look to them for protection and trust-the very things they lack and are at a loss to give…a vicious circle of the cat eating it’s tail…
    The evil in this world uses these situation to further his purposes-the breakdown of the center-the family itself-without which a healthy society cannot survive…tragedy in motion
    This story is HUGE!

    • I’m so glad this piece has had such on impact on you. It was written from the perspective of someone who has given up, and I think that comes through. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who feel this way, and that scary thing is that they don’t care about their actions any more. If others get hurt along the way, it just doesn’t concern them.

      • Exactly! They have given up-on themselves.
        My point of view is trifold-clinical, spiritual and social…

  3. Reblogged this on mfdpens@pi and commented:
    This story is HUGE! Thanks to S. K. Nichols we see in a nutshell the breakdown of the center of our society-the human center-the family. Broken people unable to give to their children their basic needs-trust and protection-they lack these attributes within themselves-unable to find them
    they damage their own children-a vicious circle-like a cat eating it’s own tail-the center will not hold…the evil one uses these circumstances to further his purposes in this world…tragedy, breakdown, hopelessness…
    Who and How can we break in…and break through…?
    Thank you, S.K. !

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