Author S. K. Nicholas

The morning after a night of heavy drinking, she sleeps curled into a ball on the sofa. Pulling the duvet up so it covers her nude body, the wail of sirens cuts through the early morning silence reminding me of how bad I feel. Head pounding from mixing my whiskies and beers, my mouth tastes as if a cat has taken a shit in it. It’s no less than I deserve, and when she wakes up, she’ll no doubt continue the argument that had forced her to sleep downstairs several hours earlier. It had begun with a conversation on religion and escalated when some girl had flirted with me as I stood smoking outside the bar we were at. It wasn’t my fault, but this brunette had turned the conversation to serial killers, and when she mentioned her favourite was Ted Bundy, I couldn’t do anything other than submit. The shouting kicked off in the taxi ride home, and by the time we’d arrived, it had grown into a full-blown attack. Doing my best to empty the bottle of Jack Daniels I’d received as Christmas present, I remember shouting something about ‘the sparks of paradise’ before telling her I didn’t want us to sleep together because her body repulsed me- that it was stained with the touch of over a dozen lovers, and that as a result, I wanted nothing to do with it. Scratching my face and kicking me in the shins, she’d hyped herself into a frenzy before calming down after locking herself in the bathroom. She knows what she’s like, and she has no excuses- her guilt is there for all to see. Still, watching over her as she rests, she’s a beautiful creature. And that’s what hurts the most- that such beauty is eaten away each day, and that life isn’t as pure as it used to be. The older you get, the more you see the decay- the capitulation of what was once harmony. Life is a disease, while dreams are purity, that’s how I see it, anyway. Lighting a cigarette and instantly regretting my actions, she comes to life as my fingers caress the locks that spill over the duvet. Looking at me like a child, I wait for revenge, but am greeted with a smile instead, and all I can do is cry.