Bad Machine



A blind man waits anxiously at the pizza counter in a supermarket. He’s clutching a walking stick in one hand, and in the other, he holds onto a shopping trolley to steady himself. Someone who works there is going around with him, but they’ve walked off, and now he just stands not knowing what to do until they come back. Nearby, there’s a girl with come-to-bed eyes. She’s got a great body, but my fantasies don’t involve having her between my legs. Instead, they consist of injecting her with a high dose of heroin and trapping her inside the boot of a car filled with spiders. Harsh, but entirely fair. I know for a fact she doesn’t like me. We have history, and whenever I try exposing myself to her, she point-blank refuses to join in. I’m not a pervert. Far from it. This one time, I suggested the two of us go back to mine and watch Ghostbusters 2 while drinking cheap wine and eating chicken wings. It was going to be a nice romantic evening, and for desert, I said I’d squirt cream over her pussy and eat her out while she listened to Neil Young while reclining on a sunbed. Only she had no idea who he was, and it all began to fall apart soon after. To an extent, she was happy to go along with it, but my obsessive nature with wanting her to see the same things as me soon put a stop to the chances of anything happening, and now she hates me. Still, Ghostbusters 2 is a great film, and the tie-in song by Bobby Brown titled ‘On Our Own’ captures everything great not only about the film, but the 80’s in general. I’m contradicting myself, but it’s okay, for it’s my defining characteristic. We live for mysteries and the chance to see something of the lives we were never given the opportunity to glimpse. We try so hard to be kind but it’s a cruel globe, and it’s getting crueller every day. What can we do? What difference can we make? The rest say hey ho let’s just go with the flow, but I don’t believe them. They plug themselves in and become part of the machine, but that just won’t do. I am, and always will be, a bad machine. They made me in the same factory as all the others, but something went wrong, and now I’m how you see me. I’m a rebel with a half-formed cause; a lover in love with heartbreak instead of flowers. I’m on the outside, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

2 replies »

  1. The snapshot you show us is three dimensional and that’s quite a skill. I enjoy seeing the world through your eyes. It’s not always comfortable. But it always makes you think and feel.

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