Author S. K. Nicholas

We listen to The Smiths and it’s raining and it’s winter and we’re in love because the clouds say so even though we can never understand a single thing they come out with. Maybe it’s because we’re drunk on sambuca shots and green tea and the scent of blankets drenched in citrus spray we use to ward off the spiders and mosquitos with that try so hard to invade the dreams we caress in the broken chunks of sleep that never seem enough. Maybe we kiss as if it doesn’t really mean that much or could it be that we’ve had our eyes on each other since the moment we became aware of our morbid and silly lives that revolve around childhood dreams and the taste of popcorn in our favourite cinema- the one where we discovered the meaning of oneness while laughing at Jim Carrey falling over in some bar like he’s done so many times before. From a slumber that drags to a summer we never want to end, there’s a girl but there’s not just one. There are so many who shine, but they can never touch the one who creates origami elephants only to let them float downstream never to be seen again with tears of laughter mixing with tears of sadness. The end of a relationship is a beautiful thing indeed because isn’t that the only time we end up telling each other the truth? Isn’t it so strange that only when we’re out of each other’s hair, do we have the guts to say it how it is? Love is only love because of the pain that makes it feel so transient and delicate, like a plaster peeling off a cut knee, or the sight of a small boy doing all he can to run from a future that has no place for him. This heartache; may it last until long after I’m gone. May it render me numb and unable to breathe until a hundred years from now a damned lover just like me walks past my grave and wonders what became of that man. What did he do with his life, who did he love, and how did he touch the lives of those around him? These days that turn into months and these memories that flicker and linger and chew and chomp more than they ever should, how they make me laugh until I cry just like her.