Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

The History of Wind

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The sight of nature in all of its glory as the train moves through the woods gives me butterflies. Closing my eyes, all of its myriad scents makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. The trees know it, and so do all the animals that dance outside in the sullen air before dissolving into a blurred mess in less than a fraction of a second. At my shoulder is a pretty young thing who keeps touching my hand accidently on purpose. I’m not sure why she chose to sit so close to me, but her proximity pulls me in different directions. To ease my anxiety, I place her in one of two scenarios. The first is with my hand around her throat as I take her in a field of scorched corn that reminds me of the smell of burnt toast from my childhood. The second is where I’ve locked her in the trunk of a car along with thousands of fire ants. Biting her entire body, she screams and begs for me to let her out, but I’m just stood there smoking a cigarette lost in thought while looking up at the moon. It was a lot closer a few billion years ago, but now it keeps drifting further away. They say at a rate of 4cm a year. Not much, but little by little, it escapes our grasp until long after we’re gone it will disappear completely. Imagining the cold and lonely path it will embark on into deep space, I shake free of my melancholy and make an effort to write. Jotting down notes on the front page of a newspaper that’s been resting on my lap, a few words of poetry dribble out but before long I’m sketching the touchy girl’s body, and in particular, the long strands of her pubic hair that resemble the legs of spiders. I bet she’s clean shaven, but something about her eyebrows tells me there’s a side to her that grows wild in both imagination and flesh. It makes me smile, but when she knocks my arm causing me to drop the pen I’m clutching, I shake my head and ignore her apologies. Pretending not to care, I sense her looking at my doodles. Does she realise it’s her genitals I’ve been sketching? Will she get up and leave knowing that such a pervert has been degrading her? Anticipating her next move, I hold my breath as a flock of birds swoop down from the sky and peck out the eyes of a young child flying a kite. The horror of it makes me shudder, but when she places her hand upon my leg, such tragedy is quickly forgotten.

8 responses to “The History of Wind”

  1. I do like the way you trail us through your thoughts, just enough sexual to tantalise then counter it with a cold shower of unease. Maybe even disgust. Then back. I never know where i’m going on your journey but I look forward to following your breadcrumbs.

    1. I’m glad you’re following the breadcrumbs. I’m not even sure myself where they lead, but the destination doesn’t seem to matter somehow. It’s all about the journey, isn’t it? A creepy-crawly-sexual journey x

      1. I am!! I don’t think we ever know where we’re going? And it definitely doesn’t. A little cliched, but it is all in the journey, you’re totally right. Haha yep, maybe less of the creepy…love your words x

  2. There’s an empty trolley coming down the track towards a switch. The switch is going to take the trolley, empty with no operator in it, right for a dozen paralyzed philosophers and physicists who’ve caught their wheelchairs stuck on the tracks. You can save them and toss the switch, to make the trolley go the other way, towards the babies who crawled away from daycare and are playing on the tracks. You don’t have time to think much about it. You’re freaking out, let die the paralyzed intelligentsia or save them and kill a bunch of babies.
    But then you notice a beautiful woman smile at you as she walks by.
    So we never know who dies, but it doesn’t matter, because we’re happy.

    1. Such a tragedy, and yet a beautiful woman..

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