While she’s stood on the balcony drinking wine from the bottle that was intended for the both of us after our meal, I’m stood weak-kneed in the shower masturbating with the radio turned up so she doesn’t hear my moans and groans as I’m fantasising about nailing her best friend- the one with the cleavage she keeps finding me taking a peek at whenever we meet after work. We’ve argued, and not for the first time. She wants me to try harder; to put in more effort regarding my transformation into a regular person, but as I keep telling her, I’ve no intention of becoming just another somebody. I’d rather be a loser, a writer. But you’ve not even published anything, she says. You’re not even trying! But I tell her to write is reward enough, and if only one person were to find my words meaningful, I would die a happy man. She thinks I’m joking; that it’s all part of some act. Whenever we make love, she complains I’m not tender enough. I say I can’t control my passion for her- that breathing her in makes me want her until I’ve transformed into some kind of werewolf. She doesn’t appreciate it, however, and so we make love less and less until the only time we touch is saying goodbye to each other before work. Even when we sleep, we do so with our backs turned, such is the disdain she holds for me. All I can be is myself, but it never seems enough. Still, she’s free to leave. She can cast me aside whenever she wants, and yet she doesn’t. Anyway, so we’re lying in bed, and I make a move for her. She responds, and for a while it’s looking good. A hand around her waist, then my mouth on her neck while pulling down her panties. She sighs as I pinch her nipple, but then I do something wrong. I fuck up the order of things, and so she wriggles from my clutches and goes out to the balcony, hence me knocking out a frustrated wank. She means so much to me because she has such a beautiful soul, but she’s got this sadness in her that she keeps on trying so hard to deny. She’s upset that she’s fallen behind others; that the world isn’t being kind to her, and no matter how much I try convincing her that her sensitivity is a gift she should cultivate, she keeps attacking me. Keeps pushing me away, so I act like I don’t care, and it only serves to widen the divide that’s growing between us. Trembling as the orgasm engulfs my aching bones, I tilt my head and swallow a mouthful of water as she knocks back the bottle until it’s almost dry. The lights look so pretty from far away, and yet if she were to go to them, she would remain the same.
A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.co.uk
A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.com
Categories: Lucid
Brilliant, at night I’d rather log on here and read your work than pick up a book xx
That’s such a kind thing to say 🙂 I’m so glad you enjoy my words. I thank you a million times over from the bottom of my animal heart xo
Haha and I appreciate it millions from the bottom of my ice heart x
I appreciate it very much 🙂 x
I love this piece. Writers are definitely difficult souls to understand let alone love. You paint her so beautifully.
Thank you 🙂 Who would ever want to be a writer? Let alone date one. But I guess we have no choice in the matter. We don’t choose the words, the words choose us x
Beautiful!
Thank you, Rachel 🙂
this has to be one of the most beautiful things I’ve read in my life. I felt like I was both people at once, the once who found culmination and the one who denied it. This is just beautiful- and if you ever think you have only one reader left.. hey, I’m a fan enough to be counted enough as two.
Wow, I’m so honoured that it left such an impression on you! I feel a million bucks 🙂 It seems as though being a damned lover has its advantages after all! Thank you ever so much x
Au contraire, thank you. You know there’s a certain satisfaction when you read something that you just *connect* with with a snap, like it clicks right there. I’m aware that I’m fangirling a bit, but I really loved this. Plus I found your page on Facebook, so I look forward to reading more. 🙂
Well I’m chuffed you connected with the words, and I’m forever thankful of your support. I think whenever we find something that connects with us, it can only aid us in our journey, however big or small. And the more interesting the journey, the more we get out of it 🙂 x
True that. Maybe it’s a common theme to being damned lovers, hey. :p
🙂
sigh, awesome.
Thank you! 🙂 x
Superb! Couldn’t think of just scrolling it down and hitting the like button… You are indeed a great writer.. And remember.. “a little love can change it all”👍 😃
Thank you! Your kindness is gratefully appreciated, and I’m very honoured to have received it. And yes, a little love has the power to change everything 🙂
You have the gift of writing in a way that make all of us a part of your caracters and the way they’re feeling. In a brilliant wayyou put the finger on the fragility and longing for connection that we all carry inside. I A couple of days ago, I was in a situation were I put my walls up. Then I realized that it was all about my own fear and I told him so. And he told me he was scared too…and just by telling each other that we were scared to love again, the walls fell down and we connected for real
I’m so glad you sorted out the situation. So often these things are ignored until tiny cracks become rifts that can’t be overcome. I’m also touched that you enjoy my style of writing. It’s give me great pleasure knowing you got something out of this. Thank you 🙂
Nice post. Good writings.
I am requesting all readers of this blog to check out my last tow poetry at http://untoldview.wordpress.com/ Hope you all will fall in love with it. Happy reading…..
Thank you!
a nice read..u do paint a picture with your words!
Thank you very much for saying so 🙂
strong…..
Thank you for saying
Amazing yea. 💎
Thank you ever so much 🙂
take it slow I tell him..he replied I can’t control myself when I am next to you..
so I banish him to his side of the bed ..
Ah, why does this sound so familiar I wonder?
Fine Prints ..I accused him of giving cuddles with fine prints. He laughed well cuddles usually lead to something ? No not necessarily ..
Why can’t you let it be? let it be what it is? cuddles? and if it leads to something then it will? don’t force it ?
I can’t control it when I’m around you? I love your smell, your sexiness oh those pouting lips, your curves who can resist ?
Wow great post. I loved the way you expressed. AMAZING!
Thank you very much. I’m so pleased you enjoyed it! 🙂
It was quite a bold work.
Thank you for saying so.
Pleasure’s all mine
🙂
This was really good, it touched me ❤
I’m so glad it did 🙂 x
❤
I really enjoyed your short story, it always amazes me, the talent of people (such as yourself) in creating something brilliant/inspiring from words.
Carlee- evenmoreyou.wordpress.com
Thank you very much! The world is full of many beautiful people- all it takes is a leap of faith x
I just found this and let’s just say- I’m in awe. Xxx
It’s a great honour of mine for you to say that. I’m so glad you like it 🙂 x
It’s very relatable. I loved it.