She has a demon beneath each fingernail and a poltergeist that follows her from place to place and whenever she’s in my arms it causes her to break free and run. There’s an ouija board I use from to time to time when I’m drunk. We got it from her cousin, the one who got caught masturbating in a church and who now resides in a mental institution. I had an ex-girlfriend who ended up in one of them, but I can assure you it had nothing to do with me. So yeah, I use the board and ask for evil, and in the middle of the night I go downstairs and stand in the darkness with my arms open wide pleading with the monsters to visit me like they did when I was a kid. I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that before, but when I was a little boy I’d go into my parent’s room while they were downstairs and I’d dance with these monsters that came out from underneath the bed. They were cartoonish in appearance, but they were really there- I mean I could touch them and hear the noises they made and even though I was scared they excited me in ways that made me feel alive. There came a day however when they stopped coming out to play, and I’ve been searching for them ever since. They were most likely hallucinations and not evidence of the paranormal, but hey, I’m easy. They say I talk in my sleep. They say I’m strange and can’t be trusted. It’s all true of course, but it’s neither here nor there. When I’m bored, I take a permanent marker and doodle over her breasts. She doesn’t exactly enjoy it, but she allows it, and so the patterns grow until they cover her entire body. They’re quite intricate, but whenever I ask to take photos she says no. In the loft above our bed resides two-dozen bottles of my cum. When she doesn’t want it inside of her, I masturbate into egg cups and then pour them into soda bottles. It’s kinda weird, but I’m a weird kinda guy. She doesn’t mind, though, because she’s preserved every johnny we’ve ever used in sandwich bags she keeps in a suitcase in her walk-in wardrobe. I’ve often asked her why she does it, but she always distracts me by removing her top and handing me the marker pen as the areolas around her nipples glow like the northern lights.