Author S. K. Nicholas

If you curl up as small as you can, do you think it’s possible to wriggle away from what you fear most? Do you feel that if you block out all you’ve lost, that it’s possible to smile despite knowing you’ve smiled a smile far brighter? Does your love churn deep down even though on the surface you appear so taken with a life centred around the illusion of not caring? Underneath those eyes, there’s a girl who’s cried herself to sleep so many times, and yet who would know. Who could tell. I’m being rhetorical, so there’s no need to answer, but I can see that when you’re far away from the world, you twist and turn trying to convince yourself it doesn’t matter. But it does, doesn’t it? It matters because money is nothing and nor is a photograph. You can hold the gaze of so many yet it’s only ever surface, and surface is surface, nothing more. Sometimes, when I’m lying there at night trying to sleep, I think of your face and make the room spin with the simplest of touches. It hurts that you’re out there somewhere and not in my arms, but I know there’s a chance at redemption no matter what. Do you want depth of feeling? Do you need to be how you once were? Maybe you can taste it again. Maybe, just maybe, there will be a day when you step outside the shell you call home and earn those wings and soar into the sky. This place can stink- it can devour. So many shadows. So much trauma. And yet there’s a song that will make us beautiful again. There’s a chorus that will lift us into the clouds and set us free. In our lungs, we will breathe a vision so pure. We will know what it is to live as if living were only fleeting. In the morning, before dawn, reach out your hand and touch mine. Open up and speak those words. Spin like an angel. Spin in circles until the outline of your body is a silver lining that illuminates all those below.

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.co.uk

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.com