Beautiful Freak



We drink and sink and rise and flow and spin around the sun and then we kiss and even though it might not be love, because we feel it, that somehow seems enough. If it comes from the guts, then it’s perfect, and although it isn’t pretty, it’s beautiful because it makes us shiver as we lie awake at night thinking of all the things we’re not supposed to think. My beard connects me to the forest; it makes me feel at one with the dead souls that have gone before me, and although ex-lovers were never a fan, that’s why they’re ex-lovers and not real lovers. That’s why the world is too small, and the place I need to be exists in my head and not in the streets that spew out the same old shit day after day. Give me illusion and burn my retinas with what it means to be alive. Don’t feed me comatose dreams of how I should resemble everyone else. You’re better than that. Well, you used to be, anyway. Remember when you wanted to stand out from the crowd? When you wanted to tear down walls and piss in the faces of all those that didn’t believe in the fire you kept inside? But how easy it is to slip right in. How simple a thing to be like those you once claimed to despise. The slave begins by demanding justice and ends by wanting to wear a crown. Well, I’m still a slave, and I always shall be. A slave to dangerous desires, and the need to be far out of reach of those that want to change me into how they think I should be. So lift up that skirt and allow me to lose myself in what you are; give me a reason to shed this skin and change into what I am within. Give me a reason to light a cigarette and watch in awe as you become my whore as we creep upon shores they told us never to creep. Yeah, you, my beautiful freak, keep doing what you do and I’ll keep doing it through and through until we’re on our backs unable to speak or do anything other than blink at the stars as they wait for us to return.

A Journal for Damned Lovers on 

A Journal for Damned Lovers on 

20 replies »

  1. Okay, I can’t leave it like this, like an inarticulate teenager, can I? This is amazing because it’s (as usual) so full of life, the real one, not the one the drones live, and with each sentence, we are lifted by this wave that takes our (my) breaths away, and we are kind of suffocating but in the most thrilling way. The ending, here, again, is EVERYTHING. If I still smoked I would definitely do so now because this is like the aftermath of sex, I’m spent.

    • It’s a guilty pleasure to know it would make you light up a cigarette, but I’m glad you’re staying strong. Writing is our lifeline, and anything less than love and commitment just won’t do. As long as we keep looking at the stars, then we can’t put a foot wrong x

  2. I just posted my first blog post and after reading this I feel like I have written the crappiest piece of my life? This was just so beautiful, it transported me to your words and I will keep coming back to you. 🙂 I am going to ask you the biggest favour in the world. You can ignore, I will not mind. Please just give my post a read! (Eeeeeee!!)

    • I’m sure what you wrote was beautiful, and it will be a pleasure to give it a read. Thank you for reading my own. I’m thrilled you enjoyed it so much. That you connected with it fills me with a great sense of calm x

  3. fuck!!! i start to read you and then I cant read fast enough! my heart pounding by the time Im done and then really the only thing I can even think to say to you sometimes is fuck! Its that good!!! A bit twisted and romantic and beautiful and so freaking hot! Leaves me feeling twisted and romantic, beautiful and hot!

      • haha! You are welcome! words only have the power the writer can give them and you my friend holy shit you have the power! phew! 🙂

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