This body of mine- it keeps ageing even though I tell it not to. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The contract I signed stated quite clearly that mortality was something that concerned other people and most definitely not me, and yet here I am. Meh. When we kiss, she places my hand on her breast and into her ear I whisper filthy bitch. She moans and sighs but just as I’m about to move into the zone I start thinking about the woman that got murdered in my hometown back when I was a kid. She was a foreign exchange student and had been out clubbing one night during the week. Some guy, I don’t know who, he raped and strangled her to death before leaving her body at the foot of a tree in a field behind the bowling alley. To honour her memory, they put up a plaque on the tree bearing her name which I would walk past almost daily for the best part of several years. So yeah, as she’s nibbling my lips and pushing herself against me, I’m trying to see what that plaque said but it’s been too long and my memory keeps failing. She sense’s something’s wrong and asks what’s on my mind and I’m about to tell her when my trail of thought drifts to the image of a man being bludgeoned to death in a forest by a pair of hammer-wielding teenagers. It was some video I saw on the internet years ago. There have been many, but this one keeps creeping back. The Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs they called them. Try saying it out loud- bet you can’t. So she asks me again what’s wrong but not wanting to explain myself, I bite her neck and tell her what’s going to follow but the images in my brain keep flickering like one of those books you got as a kid with page after page of still images that blur together to form a mini-movie. With her lips on my nose, I close my eyes and picture her labia and then her running through the snow and then an aeroplane sinking from the sky and plunging into the ocean. Was it the one that disappeared a few years back near Australia, or that flight from Brazil to France that went down not long after take-off of which I’ve watched a documentary about on YouTube several times? I’m really not sure.