Head Down



A cigarette here and there. A fuck to lance away the cobwebs caused by too much indifference brought on by years of keeping it all locked within. In the corners of your mouth, I see enough shadows to drown a thousand proletarians. I see enough pain to undo a lifetime of dreams that never had the chance to flourish despite the fierce mind that conjured them. How sad it is to think of all those that are struggling, of those that are busy living a lie doing their best to smile when inside they feel as if the rug is being swept from under their feet day after day after day. I’ve stood on that rug, and I know what it’s like to feel as if you’re neither here nor there. But to rage and struggle and drown and suffer is what makes us smile when no one else is looking. It’s what gives us a reason to keep wishing for that moment when things fall into place, and at long last, we can claim to be who we want to be. This is a journal. This is a reason why. Words and passion and messages. Truth and beauty and a need to run away from life in order to find a reason to live. Through the forest and through the mirror. Through the dark of seasons past to the light of your embrace. From the hanging days that never seem to shift to the solar flare of your kiss as we stand in the rain with no intention of losing this gaze.

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.co.uk

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.com

32 replies »

  1. Thinking a lot today about lives lost to the abyss that I have stood on the edge of too many times. Thank you for this beautiful piece. “This is a reason why. Words and passion and messages. Truth and beauty and a need to run away from life in order to find a reason to live.” Yes. This.

    • I’m so pleased you felt that way about it. How sad it is that we often feel the way we do, and yet how beautiful that we have the ability to pick ourselves up and keep going despite knowing we will inevitably fall back down again.

      • It is unfortunate perhaps that we always think that we must do the picking up on our own. The nature of the beast I guess, is that when we are in its belly we feel that there are no words to utter, that our arms are too heavy to lift to reach out for help even though we would offer without question if the roles were reversed.

  2. Reblogged this on Brave and Reckless and commented:
    Many of us have stood at the edge of the abyss, considered the 13th floor window, looked over the railing at the yawning drop below. Some of us are lost, some us make it to face another day. S. K. Nicholas beautifully articulates what is brewing in the back of my mind and I reminded that I am not alone. That we are not alone.

  3. Intense and beautiful work. The loss of things and making truth realize us that we are here for a reason. Life is a progress and its not easy.

    The title of your work reminded me of this song:

    My favorite band of all time.

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