Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Books & Dust & Souls

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Afternoons spent here and there. Sometimes nude. Other times wrapped in blankets or in each other’s arms walking the streets looking for adventure but finding nothing other than greasy spoons and boarded up bookstores. We used to go down into the cellar of one in particular, remember? Walking around and around I would spend so long looking at books that never changed and of which I knew were never going to be sold. The air was dusty, and when you grew bored, you would always threaten to steal something which would make me grab you by the hand and lead you outside like a naughty child. I am not that lover anymore, and nor are you that girl, and although it makes me sad how things worked out I can’t help but smile because in that bubble we were alive and for the briefest of moments we resisted the outside world. To tap into that which remains hidden, I obscure my real face. To be a better writer, and to write words that reach out to others, I travel an unknown path. Like your strange heart, these energies I have concerned myself with are the things that interest me most because so few have the guts to put it all on the line that for that which can’t be seen. While the rest shout and holla and vie for attention through empty acts, we sit in silence gazing at the blades of grass that dance in awe at the coming of storm clouds. When it pisses it down and the rest go inside, we stand up and embrace without the need for answers nor the comfort of conclusion. There are no celebratory guns, only the ringing in our ears from the claps of thunder that boom overhead. That bookstore we used to go to, it’s flooded now. The cellar where I would touch the small of your back while thumbing through a dog-eared book on serial killers- it’s completely submerged. At night, when no one’s looking, I go inside and swim through the aisles. In the near darkness of the murky lagoon, I catch a glimpse of our former selves, and the looks on their young faces tell me that this journey we’re on is so much more than the rest will ever know.

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.co.uk

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.comΒ 

20 responses to “Books & Dust & Souls”

  1. This gave me the shivers– beautifully evocative, tender, surreal and melancholy. Like a piece of music that lingers in my memory, haunting.

    1. I am most honoured that it did. Thank you for such kind words πŸ™‚

      1. I’ve been called “kind” on at least five separate occasions today. I think it less that I am kind than I have poor social boundaries! It is a gorgeous piece SK.

      2. No way- it’s just that you’ve got a kind heart- way kinder than most! πŸ™‚

      3. That is a very kind thing for you to say!

  2. A beautiful blend of dream and reality. Love this!

    1. I’m glad you think so πŸ™‚ When I wrote it, I was lost somewhere between the two xo

      1. It’s fabulous…well done Stephen! xo

  3. I love the submerged bookshop and swimming through it. That’s the kind of dreamworld I would want to get lost in. So many levels to this and so beautifully crafted.

    1. Thank you, T πŸ™‚ Wouldn’t it be a dream indeed if such a place could become reality.. x

      1. I wanted to be a mermaid when I was little. Now to find a way for books to survive in water. Because that’s the obvious stumbling block 😝I think I’ll just to daydream the place. Thank you for this thought, I’m going to treasure it. X

      2. I’m glad you’ll treasure it πŸ™‚ But yeah- waterproof books would be a good start. My dream as a kid was for there to be a big flood so I could swim down the streets, only I then realised I’d be swimming with dog turds and the like.. I soon changed my mind x

  4. This is so evocative – really, the swimming in an old bookstore, has me daydreaming…

    1. Ooh, I’m so happy it has πŸ™‚ And I hope the daydream sticks around, too.

  5. Beautiful. “While the rest shout and holla and vie for attention through empty acts, we sit in silence gazing at the blades of grass that dance in awe at the coming of storm clouds. When it pisses it down and the rest go inside, we stand up and embrace without the need for answers nor the comfort of conclusion.” – so beautiful, that I choked back a tear or two…and then, I smiled, because I realised that I may have gone in that bookshop behind you and now own the dog-eared, serial killer book. A x

  6. I keep wanting to leave a comment something like, ‘this is my favorite piece”. But I know that’s stupid and short-sighted cus it would imply that I’ve stopped reading your new material.

    1. I’m deeply touched by this comment, thank you. It’s that constant search for answers that makes me keep doing this. If I ever found the answers, I would probably discard them and keep looking. Like whatshisname in the film Memento.

      1. Haha, yes, that’s excellent

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