Darting from car to car, she scampers around in the darkness avoiding my best efforts at finding her. It’s pissing down with rain, and if she doesn’t come in soon, she’ll be soaked and will catch a cold. But we’ve argued, and she’s staying out to prove a point. She caught me looking at porn when I thought she was in the shower, you see. Sat there at my desk, I had positioned myself just right and clicked on a video that took my fancy. I won’t go into details, but when she came in looking for her brush and saw me at it while some dirty blonde was doing something to a certain part of a man’s body, she saw red and went in for the kill. Nails at the ready, she clawed my face and knocked me off my chair. Luckily, I landed the right way, for if she had fallen on top, my little man would surely have broken in half. With sex noises ringing out above us as she tried overpowering me, I grabbed both her arms while telling her to calm down. There was no dampening her fury, though, and as her nostrils flared and she bared her teeth, I knew better than to risk worsening the situation and so let her go. This was over two hours ago, and now she’s out there, somewhere, sulking and stalking as I call out her name promising to order us a Chinese if she comes back in. I can smell smoke, and for a second wonder if she’s started a fire, but then here she comes, waltzing down the garden path. She looks drowned and miserable, but she’s got sass in her walk, and as she shakes her hips on approach, she slaps me across the face and tells me she doesn’t want Chinese but pizza, and just to clarify who’s in charge, she’s ordering the vegetarian option, and if I don’t like it, I can go without. Standing in the doorway, she looks at me, and I look at her. Following her inside, she makes me stay in the bathroom with her while she takes her shower, and later in the night, I’m forced to sleep on the floor, and every time I try to crawl into bed next to her, she shoos me away into the corner of the room.