Just Like Her

howled

 

Lost and bored while eating pizza in the bath, through the open window came the sound of lovers arguing on the street below. Part of me was tempted to get out and spy on them, but instead, I peeled back my foreskin and questioned the nature of my existence. There were no answers, but truth be told, I never expected any. How could there be? Might watch Day of the Dead later while drinking some Chinese beer, or I might just close my eyes and listen to it while thinking of the right words to put down onto paper that will hopefully make others know I’m for real and not just a dreamer. Maybe she’ll read the words as well, and will be impressed with the fire that still rages in my heart. Or maybe she’ll just think I’m a loser who needs to get with the program. Before getting out and drying myself off, I clip my nails and clean behind my ears. Standing up and rubbing a towel over my bits and pieces a few minutes later, the wind picks up and the two arguing lovers hurry along the pavement to continue their argument indoors. Reminds me of all the times we used to argue, and it annoys me that no one has ever got under my skin quite like her. She would get a kick out of knowing this for sure, so I take it back and hope she doesn’t read these words at all. Sat on the edge of the bed, I light a smoke and sit in silence. Is this meditation, or something less glamorous? Does it allow me to tap into the right kind of energy, or does it only succeed in pushing me further away? Squeezing my eyes as tight as I can, the image of a pier appears in the centre of my mind, and at the end of it there she stands. She’s got her arms raised, and one second she’s swallowing the sun and then she becomes the sun and as the stars twinkle and the seas roar, she reaches out to me and as the rays of her light touch my skin, there is no more me, only her.

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.co.uk

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.com

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