Downtown

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Away from the wind and rain, I took shelter in a no-name store along the high street. Wiping my face and warming my bones while stood at the cigarette kiosk, there was some girl next to a display case of cookery books written by that dick off TV with the big teeth, and this girl, she was looking in my direction. She was slim and trim and pretty and plain all at the same time, and for this reason, she intrigued me. It was also for this reason that I tried turning my back on her because of the feelings she evoked in my black’d out soul, but her curious gaze kept forcing its way into my field of view. Eventually, the only thing I could think of doing to rid myself of her advances was to close my eyes, but then I couldn’t keep them shut for long as the queue I was in was reducing in size, and sure enough, when I opened them she was still staring. She reminded me of you, in many ways. Not really featurewise, it was more in her style of clothes and her quiet demeanour. Maybe that’s why I tried my best to ignore her. Those big brown eyes, how they bore into me so knowing and innocent and desperate. How they called my name wishing so much for protection, but who am I to protect anyone? Who am I but some loser stumbling through the days like a drunk going back and forth between the toilets and the bar, over and over again on a night that never seems to end? Struggling to make sense of things, this girl, she smiled at me. She was playing with her hair while she did it, too, and in the climax of that smile, she twitched her nose like a rabbit. Part of me wanted to march over and grab her by the throat. Wanted to tell her to fuck right off. But then the other part, the hidden part, well, it wanted to lift her off her feet and carry her someplace safe and far removed from the scum we rub shoulders with, which is pretty much everyone. Running my fingers through the wet hair of my quiff, I lowered my gaze to her chest in the hope she wouldn’t appreciate the attention, but when I raised them again to her face, that smile was right back with me. In an instant, we were two nude bodies merging in a room hurtling through layers of time and space, and even though there was no talk of feelings or commitment or the meaning of our union, we were happy, and for a while at least, we were free.

A Journal for Damned Lovers Volumes 1 & 2 on Amazon.co.uk

A Journal for Damned Lovers Volumes 1 & 2 on Amazon.com

10 replies »

  1. “Who am I but some loser stumbling through the days like a drunk going back and forth between the toilets and the bar, over and over again on a night that never seems to end?”

    I identify with many things you write. This reminds me that I’m not alone. x

  2. “In an instant, we were two nude bodies merging in a room hurtling through layers of time and space, and even though there was no talk of feelings or commitment or the meaning of our union, we were happy, and for a while at least, we were free.” That moment when reality dissolves and some deeper connection exists, if only for a moment. Sigh. . .

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