You sit on the bed while I look out the window. You tell me to come back to you, but there are suspicious people outside. Nuisance youths, I call them. Rolling your eyes, you sprawl on your belly and read a book while from time to time checking on me as I stand there looking up and down the street. If I were sensible, I’d take advantage of your restfulness by giving you a good seeing to. I’d get my shit together and bite you all over, but I’m a peculiar sort, and as it is, I feel compelled to watch those outside on the off chance that one of the fuckers decides to break in. Even if someone did break in, you wouldn’t know what to do about it, would you? When you tell me this, I suffer a crisis of confidence, because of course, it’s true. If we were robbed, what the fuck would happen? Panicking, I run downstairs to the kitchen and grab the breadknife that never gets used. Running back up to our room, I take position again at the window making sure you notice the blade. You do, but you’re not impressed. As I stand there trying to act like the man, you go back to your book while shaking your head. So, you’ll actually stab someone, will you? You’ll actually go ahead and attack them with that thing? Doubting myself almost immediately, I place the knife on the windowsill and roll a cigarette. Lighting up, the smoke burns my insides making me feel less on edge. Putting my hand down my trousers, I fiddle with myself, and when I smell my fingers, decide to go wash my cock. But not yet. I want to see what the fuckers out on the street get up to, even though it must be said, they’re not up to much at all. Turning my head, I notice you’ve discarded your book and are watching me out of one eye with the rest of your face buried in pillow and hair. Any other guy would be all over you, but I’m not any other guy. My obsessions and peculiarities make me approach life from a different angle. This opens many doors, and it helps let me see things others cannot, and yet there is no doubting the fact that I am a strange individual indeed. But truth be told, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

A Journal for Damned Lovers Volumes 1 & 2 on Amazon.co.uk

A Journal for Damned Lovers Volumes 1 & 2 on Amazon.com

8 replies »

  1. We often allowed the outside world, other people, the environment, dictate how would should behave in certain situations, and we’d end up losing who we are and supposed to have been…

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