Perfect Laughter

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People dream of being free, yet their idea of freedom sees them forever bound to a world that cares less for them than it does cattle. Freedom for the likes of us is in a state of mind. It comes from untethering oneself from a system designed solely to reign you in. I want no part of this place. I wish to swim in a sea of fantasy. To exist with those lights on the horizon that shimmer and shine in the dead of night as if they were angels on the brink of becoming stars. I wish to fly through the sky straight into a bubble of Bukowski’s perfect laughter. To exist in a canvas of brilliant colour. To breathe in the image of her at the end of a pier with a smile on her face stretching across space and time. People tell me I’m doing this all wrong. That I don’t understand the meaning of life. But I do, I understand it all too well, which is why I’ve spent so long trying to rid myself of their disbelieving minds. In the mirror, I’m just a man. In their eyes, I’m a drifter just drifting through life, but I’ve got this magic in me, I know it, and when the moment’s right, I walk through walls and dance as I wish to dance. I see tenderness in the smallest of things, and I feel emotion when others try convincing me there’s only absence. In the lonely hours when self-doubt digs its teeth in and there so often seems no way out, my little heart keeps beating, and with it, these dreams never lose their meaning. Each breath brings with it a determined effort to remain true to myself. Those lights on the horizon, her smile, they get me through the worst of it. They always did. There are others out there just like me. Others walking the same line. When I’m on the brink, I remind myself I’m not alone, and that there are those who know the magic too. It’s all a matter of faith. It’s about being strong even when you feel weak enough to crumble into dust.

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.co.uk

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.com

8 replies »

  1. “I see tenderness in the smallest of things, and I feel emotion when others try convincing me there’s only absence.” I get this, so I promise I’ll never try to convince you otherwise. X

  2. We are all, bound by the rules and regulations of society, because we live in a society, that is the way we are, social, and, sometimes, what we encounter in the world goes against what we believe, and we’d start having the dissonances of whether or not we should conform to the expectations of what the world expects us to be, or that we should, just stay true to ourselves, and we struggle, but eventually, we’re, able to reach, that balance from within ourselves, because we learned, that the world is outside of us, but we are the ones, responsible, and the only ones who can take responsibilities for our own actions.

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