Sips her vodka and coke and lies there fantasizing about neck kisses and hands on her thighs that inch higher and higher. Lights her smoke and sees herself swirling through the air like a falling leaf spinning faster and faster the closer she gets to the ground. She goes this way and that. She slips through a chain-link fence and finds herself in the beak of a bird that carries her into the waiting sky above. Up up and away she goes. Up into the clouds to some great magical tree where everything feels as green as the gardens of her childhood that glow behind her stony eyes. Touching herself to an ambient soundtrack that sounds like a soundtrack to the birth of the universe, she moans and groans and opens her mouth to the ceiling feeling love work its way right through her. There’s blood beneath her fingernails. It’s that time. There’s dirt as well. Just an hour before, she was crawling around outside playing games with next door’s cat. Hissing away, she was running around on all fours not noticing the strange looks from those walking by. For a second, they stopped and stared, but she was too busy defending her patch from the ginger tabby that hangs about thinking it owns the joint. When she claimed victory by forcing the tabby to scarper, she came in and poured herself the drink. It made her twitch, but the warmth in her belly made everything feel okay. And then she thought about him. Memories of his tongue wiggling its way inside of her. Memories of him pushing her legs above her head and the sweat that dripped from his forehead down onto her little button nose and chin. Made her go weak at the knees it did, so she poured another drink and gave herself to the visions the way a good child of God always should.

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.co.uk

A Journal for Damned Lovers on Amazon.com