Rabbit in the Headlights


As my hand gripped her bare thigh, her eyes dilated and she let go of the steering wheel. As the rain fell upon the windscreen, the vehicle hit the kerb mounting the sidewalk like a lurching drunk trying to find his way home. Reaching over her and pulling us back onto the road, she’d sunk her fingers into the beige upholstery of the roof, tearing out chunks of foam that fell upon her head like snow. Opening her mouth, she’d pursed her lips then gritted her teeth as if possessed by some feeling that was too much for her to endure. Doing my best to stop ourselves from crashing- no mean feat considering I couldn’t see a thing- she’d grabbed my hair again and twisted it until I could feel the individual strands being ripped from my skull. Behind us, the animals were chasing, wishing to taste the milk of life from the one they dreamt of in their animal dreams. In her ear, I heard the words of God and the cries of angels falling from the heavens in perfect liquid spheres before exploding into the oceans like meteors. In the circles beneath her eyes, I saw the meaning of my life, of all life, and when she stuck out her tongue licking some invisible shape, I reached out and gripped that chin of hers. With trembling fingers, I turned her eyes to mine, and when she looked at me, it’s as if we somehow stepped outside of time. The drops of rain hung suspended in air, and the animals were caught mid-hop, floating above the ground in their quest to seek a closer glimpse of mother. In that moment, just weeks after we’d first laid eyes on each other, I told her she was the one, and when she wiped her mouth and let go of my hair, she leaned forward and placed herself in my lap. When time was to speed up, the vehicle would crash into a lamppost wrecking both the lamppost and the car, but in that bubble, she leaned in and rubbed her nose against mine, and when she kissed me, I knew I never wanted to kiss another. When she gave me her tongue, I met it with my own while moving my hands over her hips, and as the curls of her hair spilled down covering both our pale, drunken faces, we were the only two lovers in the world. Maybe there were others like us. Those engaged in some similar dance, and yet in our kiss, I knew that what we had would never be replicated. That not in a billion years would this magic ever be lived again. Just before time caught up and we found ourselves escaping the wreckage through flooded streets with the animals hot on our heels, the warmth of her breath mixed with mine, and the glow of those eyes had me like a rabbit in the headlights.

A Journal for Damned Lovers UK

A Journal for Damned Lovers US

Anthology UK / Anthology US

4 replies »

    • It’s kinda sad, isn’t it? When you look back at those moments, and how at the time you wanted nothing else than to be with that person. And yet I don’t think I’d change a thing. The beauty of those moments will last a lifetime x

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