Now and Again


We pay for our stuff and leave the store holding hands. It’s cold so cold, and as she tries pulling me back into the warmth of indoors, I squeeze her tight and tell her to endure. With a grumble, she digs her mouth into the collar of her coat while with a blink of my eyes, I shudder as a gust of wind kicks off the ground before whipping us good and proper. The stars in the sky form constellations we don’t know the names of, but even so, they look so pretty as they wave to us from the distant past. Gliding through the streets on our way back to mine, those celestial animals dance and swim above our heads just the same as they have since our ancestors first emerged from the oceans so many years before. Such beauty reminds me of how fleeting this all is, and I can’t help but think that one day we won’t be here anymore. That one day life will continue without us, and it will be as if we weren’t even here at all. Such a thought leaves me weak, and as my pace slows, she looks over at me as I stand there not knowing what to do. Now and again the simple nature of my existence can be felt so intensely, and no amount of pretty words or poetic imagery can save me from the end. It makes the present moment seem so alive, and yet it scares me in more ways than I’d care to admit. I’m a child of the universe. A grain of magic that comes into bloom creating music the likes of which won’t ever be known again, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to crumble. Doesn’t stop me from wanting to curl into a ball wishing to hide from the hand of fate that will one day reach in to take me away. Bringing my hand to her mouth, she kisses it and tells me it’s not too long to go with a delicate smile that at once fills me with strength while all the same reminding me this whole thing is over before it ever really begins. Unsure as to the reasons of my sudden melancholy but not unaware, she leads even though she doesn’t know where we’re going, and such an act it seems is all we can ever be capable of. It’s what keeps us from quitting even when the light in our hearts dims to a mere flicker.

A Journal for Damned Lovers UK

A Journal for Damned Lovers US

Anthology UK / Anthology US

18 replies »

  1. Isn’t it beautiful to find another soul that ‘gets’ you completely? I’m not sure I’ve ever found that in a partner, though I have in friends. And although I’m not fond of the old…”tis better to have loved and lost…” adage, there is a lot of truth in it.

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