Bright sunlight tap tap taps the keys of a piano, and when she spins it’s as if the world’s spinning with her, and it might just be that one day she’s nothing more than bones without a home, but in the here and now, she spins like a leaf in the breeze. Billowing like fresh bedsheets, she catches a lift on the wings of a passing butterfly, and as she clings on for dear life screaming at the top of her lungs, I’m not far behind. Cigarette in hand, I’m sweating out last night’s hangover, and not for the first time, I find myself on the brink of some existential crisis. I’m so close to death that I swear I can feel it breathing on the back of my neck, but all I have to do is hear her laugh, and my misery pops like a discarded bubble of thought. If you want the truth, I’ve been trying to catch her for so long now, and every time I get close, she slips away leaving me to stumble yet again, but the more I’m left hanging, the more I write about these fleeting moments that transform me from a bum into something half resembling a poet. The more these words of mine find their way onto the page, the less pain there is to remind me of all the things I am not. Dragging my heels as she floats on, I suck on my smoke and flutter my eyes, and although on the surface I’m a loser and nothing more, inside of me, there’s something I can’t quite explain. It’s she that led me here, and it’s why I keep chasing, for it seems that once you catch a glimpse of the other side, you get a taste that can’t be denied. Some would call it obsession. Perhaps addiction. Perhaps just plain ol’ madness, but as I skip after her as she darts through the streets on the back of her butterfly, the thoughts and opinions of others are as insignificant to me as the days I’ve chosen to leave behind.
A Journal for Damned Lovers UK
A Journal for Damned Lovers US
Categories: Lucid
Author S. K. Nicholas 
Mesmerizing as always… I found myself holding my breath over this read 🙂
Happy New Year, may 2019 keep you healthy and inspired! (wait, is that a wish for you or for us, readers? *wink*)
I love that you did. Thank you!
And I wish you a happy and inspired New Year, too! If I can keep the words coming, and maybe help to inspire along the way, then I think the next twelve months will be sweet 😉
You are most welcome!
I am not worried the least bit… And I’ll keep following your wandering mind with great pleasure 🙂
I hope I can take you to some interesting places 🙂
“Dragging my heels as she floats on, I suck on my smoke and flutter my eyes, and although on the surface I’m a loser and nothing more, inside of me, there’s something I can’t quite explain.”
There’s more to you. You’re my favourite kind of loser (i.e. not really a loser at all) ❤
I’m honoured to be your favourite kind of loser, Allane 🙂 ❤
Ha! ❤
😉 x
X is magical!
She’s something else, isn’t she? 🙂
So long as you keep on following that muse, she’ll always be within your reach…
I guess it’s all about never losing faith.
That is Beautiful, don’t pull yourself down S.K.
I thank you dearly, my friend x
You are Welcome and May I wish you a Happy New Year for 2019. 🍾🎉🎁
And the same to you. I hope your year is a good one x
Likewise on the New Year.
🌝
Why ‘half resembling a poet’? If you ask us, we’d say you are transformed into a poet — period.
Good to be reading you again!
Well that’s very kind of you. I say half, because self-doubt always keeps you grounded. In ways that can be a blessing, but also in ways that make you stumble.
True. I hope it never makes you stumble. You are made to soar.
I’m glad you said soar and not sour 😉 x
Ha ha ha! So am I!