Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  •   She writes these letters to me. Each page is stained with her scent and when I hold them to my nose every part of my body tingles as if she’s right by my side. Among the pages are drawings of red dragons and butterflies and what appears to be expressionist portraits of her lady parts.… Read more

  •   At work, there was a sheet of paper taped to the wall outside the toilets informing whoever it may concern that one of the cleaners that had retired a few months ago had died. Derek was his name, and he was South African. Truth be told we never had much to do with each… Read more

  • We All Fall Down

      Remember that guy I worked with? The one who murdered his daughter? It was back when I was living in Hatfield. My shifts were mostly 2-10, and when I finished clearing those daily cages of pies and pasties and was upstairs in the locker room collecting my belongings, he was usually getting ready to… Read more

  • Black Tights

      Black tights, she wears black tights while her legs cross and uncross beneath the table as we patiently wait for our food. It’s Waggamma’s on a Friday night after work. I’m drinking bottled beer while she sips a cup of green tea. The evening’s young and while her body speaks to me in a… Read more

  • Planet Nine

      We link fingers and make love. Or is it fucking? I think this constitutes as fucking. You take it in the mouth and only when I allow it do you swallow. To think of those futures you hold, and then with one lick of the lips, it’s just another dead end. Struggling to breathe… Read more

  • Definitive Gaze

      While sat in the passenger seat, she inspects herself in a small mirror she carries in her purse. Looking not outward but inward, behind my closed eyes I see cheerleaders dancing just for me. They wink suggestively while gyrating their hips causing me to dribble from the sides of my mouth. There’s dried blood… Read more

  • What Lies Beneath

      There was a terrorist attack in London yesterday. Some dumb fuck ran down a load of people on Westminster Bridge and then stabbed a policeman to death. They shot the guy soon after- I saw the photo of him lying on the pavement with pistols pointing at his prone body. I’m a bit young… Read more

  • Animal Daddy

      When I’m drunk, I insert things into her body. Marbles. Coins. Sunflower seeds. Stuff like that. As she’s lying there laughing at the absurdity of it all, I speak in hushed tones to her vagina. Questions, so many questions. She is my alter, she’s monolithic. When she asks what I’m doing I feed her… Read more

  • Say Yes

    Originally posted on Sudden Denouement Collective: Nose on nose on a balcony that overlooks a disused garage that swims with rats and pornos and junk. Black eyeliner, black tights. Red lips and a ponytail that swings like a pendulum. The smell of your hair and the feel of you pushing yourself against my groin in those hours… Read more

  • Little Miss Sunshine

      The water looks like oil. When I’m drunk, I ignite the oil. She’s got nice breasts, don’t you think? They appear so smooth and smell like Play-Doh. This oil, though, it gets on my clothes. It chokes me when I’m trying to sleep. Reminds me of the paints I used to use back when… Read more