Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • Come Crashing Down

      Be prepared for hangovers that last a lifetime. Dreaming or living, I haven’t yet decided. Lost in fields of sunflowers, her body shimmers like a glass staircase to the moon. As a cigarette falls from my fingers, thoughts of her dance in my reckless mind as a dirge of hipsters push their way to… Read more

  • Useless Generation

      Smokers hunched over cancer sticks in the rain. Women with bodies boundless in heat. Eyes searching, they connect and seek what they want. They covet, as do I. My illness hidden until it’s too late; I let them in and make them dance to my tune. Their features smeared upon cracked mirrors; the night… Read more

  • Dream Lover

      Blankets consisting of cigarette burns. Dyslexic intent as she crawls deformed at the foot of my bed. So real despite the dawn of time that knows no end as my hand slides up her delicate skirt. A handful of hair as she pushes herself against my hips, the moon appears through the window with a… Read more

  • Still

      These days of struggle. These hours of intent. In my room, I write. There are no amazing accolades. There is no money. My novel still a work in progress. So many years have I taken to arrive at this point, and still I’m only at the beginning. Doubt plagues me every day. I’m not… Read more

  • Inside of Me, The Night Will Last Forever

      In pools of water beneath the stars, an innocent dies. With crucifixes clutched by figures covered with soil, the moon was my witness. There’s nothing that can’t be done. She knows it, as does the mob that wait for our approach. Summers spent alone with views of turbulent seas. Write this all down, and… Read more

  • Nobody Ever Came

      Anxiety leading to depression, or maybe it’s the other way around. Drinking doesn’t help; that’s for sure. All that morning nausea and fear of the future. The fear of stepping foot outside the front door. Being sick in the kitchen sink. Sweat trickling down my face as I curled into a ball at the… Read more

  • Ordinary Madness

      Waking up surrounded by others, there are two spots on either side of my right nipple. Through chest hair, I see a reddened smear. Picking until it bleeds, my fingers sniff out cancer just in case. Awkward teenagers going shopping with their parents. Boys with crippling shyness and girls with braces supporting crooked teeth. Dragging feet… Read more

  • Phase #2

    They lurk with child killers and rapists. Hiding in plain sight, and feeding on the blood of the young. Artists hung out to dry. No time to say goodbye as the blade snuffs out life. In her belly then across her throat. In Brazilian forests, along with the wastelands in Russia, the journey from life… Read more

  • Solid Air

    It’s been years since I fell asleep not thinking of tomorrow. So much has happened. So much beauty and unhappiness. Of all that’s been and lost, and all that never was. In the lonely hours when no one else is around, I show my true face. I push people away. I cling to my own… Read more

  • Phase #1

      These clothes haven’t been washed in days. This flesh that stinks of cheap romance. A car crashes on the outskirts of a municipal district with children trapped within. So many broken promises. So many ghosts that haunt when outside my window the night sings my name so softly. Limbs in the gutter. A roof… Read more