Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Anxiety

  • She Slips Away

    Bright sunlight tap tap taps the keys of a piano, and when she spins it’s as if the world’s spinning with her, and it might just be that one day she’s nothing more than bones without a home, but in the here and now, she spins like a leaf in the breeze. Billowing like fresh… Read more

  • Lazarus

    Morning bliss in spite of a tender belly, and although the mirror’s crack’d, the light comes in and touches her face as if she were still just a kid. Those curls of her hair and the redness in her cheeks. Those bones in her neck and the soft skin of a sometimes lover with a… Read more

  • The Idea of You

    The fog comes from the sea, and when it rests upon her belly, I stroke her face and drink some more wine. With each mouthful, it stings my gums and turns my insides, but it helps in ways I can’t quite fathom. Between her legs, the scent of nature is overwhelming. Something ancient. A primal… Read more

  • Dreams Don’t Recede

    It starts in some strange, recurring dream, where the buildings in my hometown are not stained by history but brand-spanking new, and there in some park beneath a tree that touches the sky, is a girl who would be my own; a girl I once called home. You’re alive for a while with time on… Read more

  • Not X and I

    We watch the original Amityville Horror and as the opening scene plays out I spasm with each gunshot until I shoot my load then twitch and groan while making no attempt to wipe myself clean. She complains but I’m too lazy to be anything but myself. Kids are shot and there’s a ghost who blows… Read more

  • A Strange Delight

    As she flew into the source of the light, X saw the ghost of her younger self waiting upon the threshold, and although it made her feel sad that she was no longer that girl, the thought of what was to come was too beautiful of a thing to resist. The years had got behind… Read more

  • The Little Things

    The leaves she kicked up as she flew danced for a while before falling back down to the ground. They were dead and yet they danced; full of life even though their time had already come to pass. Not many would’ve noticed. Not many would’ve have cared. But she noticed, and she cared, because the… Read more

  • The Dance of Life

    As the shape that would be her father shifted from bear to badger and bird to butterfly, she followed after him as he moved towards the light. All around her, the animals continued to shift too. From feather and fur to shimmering orbs of golden colour, they whistled and sang as the music grew louder,… Read more

  • Exist in Song

    Among the orbs that passed before her eyes, she could make out faces. Some she recognised, while others were as strange to her as the moment itself. She would later swear that among those faces, she saw those belonging to her grandparents, not as she had known in life, which had been all wrinkly and… Read more

  • Through the trees, the bright light shone. What the light was made of she couldn’t say, but the closer she got, the more she felt it bore into her. The light was unlike any other. It sang of such beauty, and although the words were so similar to her own, they were somehow different. It… Read more