Author S. K. Nicholas

x and i: a novel

a journal for damned lovers vol 1-3

Prose

  • X the Sad Panda

    In the days that followed after he’d left her in a crumpled heap at the train station, X sat in the living room of her apartment still wearing the same clothes. The mascara around her eyes was there too, albeit smudged and smeared to hell so that she looked like the saddest panda you’d ever… Read more

  • She Sings in Her Sleep

    Stood beneath a streetlight on a road belonging to any town or city you could think of, I suck on my cigarette and listen to something I can’t see but of which I know is there nonetheless. I’ve felt it my entire life, and although I’ve no proof of its existence other than the sensations… Read more

  • Show Me a Wonder

    Gingerly moving ahead, she wrestled off her jacket and scarf before throwing them over the duck legs sticking out of the ice. Looking up at me, it seemed as if she was seeking some sense of approval, and although I couldn’t take away her pain, I gave her a nod of the head which caused… Read more

  • Cradle and Grave

    On a frozen lake in some town the world had done its best to forget, the feet of several ducks protruded from the ice, minus their feathered bodies. They’d fallen asleep on the water, and when the water had turned to liquid stone, the foxes came calling with them at their mercy. Showing her the… Read more

  • She Slips Away

    Bright sunlight tap tap taps the keys of a piano, and when she spins it’s as if the world’s spinning with her, and it might just be that one day she’s nothing more than bones without a home, but in the here and now, she spins like a leaf in the breeze. Billowing like fresh… Read more

  • Lazarus

    Morning bliss in spite of a tender belly, and although the mirror’s crack’d, the light comes in and touches her face as if she were still just a kid. Those curls of her hair and the redness in her cheeks. Those bones in her neck and the soft skin of a sometimes lover with a… Read more

  • The Idea of You

    The fog comes from the sea, and when it rests upon her belly, I stroke her face and drink some more wine. With each mouthful, it stings my gums and turns my insides, but it helps in ways I can’t quite fathom. Between her legs, the scent of nature is overwhelming. Something ancient. A primal… Read more

  • Dreams Don’t Recede

    It starts in some strange, recurring dream, where the buildings in my hometown are not stained by history but brand-spanking new, and there in some park beneath a tree that touches the sky, is a girl who would be my own; a girl I once called home. You’re alive for a while with time on… Read more

  • Not X and I

    We watch the original Amityville Horror and as the opening scene plays out I spasm with each gunshot until I shoot my load then twitch and groan while making no attempt to wipe myself clean. She complains but I’m too lazy to be anything but myself. Kids are shot and there’s a ghost who blows… Read more

  • A Strange Delight

    As she flew into the source of the light, X saw the ghost of her younger self waiting upon the threshold, and although it made her feel sad that she was no longer that girl, the thought of what was to come was too beautiful of a thing to resist. The years had got behind… Read more