Too Late For Goodbyes

girl

Skylights as another darling cuts herself whilst pouting in the mirror. All this misery in self obsession. This damned lust for sadness when the horrors of nature should make us thankful for everything we already have. Sex can’t save you, nor can the embrace of yet another blurred face. It comes from within. Redemption and forgiveness. Surface brilliance. Throw away your pretty clothes and cameras. Stop looking for approval in others. You can’t feel alive in someone else’s eyes. You need to feel true in you. You can’t find yourself in a changing landscape, it can only come from the realm of within. All those regrets. All that trauma of disappearing identity so cheap and lost on another. The way you gave yourself to whoever was there. In a room with no lights. In an age when love was there for the taking. But it’s too late for goodbyes. The future’s already been and gone, just like before. The city breathes in lungfuls of smoke. It chokes on dead angels. Whatever comes next is out of your control. Remember those days when sleep was all we needed. Remember when there was nothing more than to be real in each others company.

Larks tongue. Cigarettes and mouth ulcers. Cancer and ripped off fingernails. These floorboards show my footprints. Straight out of the bath they glisten in dirty sunlight. Candles burn like false suns. Eclipsed by no one my child remains unearthed. Don’t feed your demons, nor pamper longing ghosts. What’s done is done, and we can’t fear the unknown any longer. We can’t be slaves to what doesn’t exist. Just cause you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s there. Just because your heart breaks, doesn’t mean that it can’t be stuck together again. There’s a storm brewing a few blocks down. There’s electricity in the air setting my teeth on edge. Take off that dress. Bow down to a holy gun. Veins plucked clean out, some non entity tries so hard to win your heart. He begs to heal your wounds but you just don’t care.  It’s in the detail. The little pieces that makes everything so colourful. Let me take you down. Let me show you all the things you missed first time around. Stinking sewers and burning dogs on the streets of Nagasaki. Mushroom clouds and napalm. Chemical burns and romance beneath bridges. These piss stained walls wont last forever. One day they’ll be blasted out of existence. In the doorway of a store, we cuddled to keep out the cold. It’s all we knew. It didn’t mean we were weak. Alone we made choices. And choices are all we have.

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