Every Little Thing

giveup

See the world but don’t see yourself. Buried too deep within flesh and bone. Submerged in shadows like ink across the eyes. Days and weeks and months and years. Seasons fade. Not reborn just replayed. Sex dispels. It paints pictures that aren’t real. American hostages lined up by the side of a roadblock. Floating in limbo. Part the curtains of their hair and blow kisses upon trembling lips. Dresses covering aching bodies. Anxiety wrapped around broken fingers. No identity so colour your skin with replicated images. No identity so become something the likes of which we’ve seen so many times before. Thoughtless and nameless. Starless like the contents of your womb. Sometimes I make myself sad. The way these circles close around my tender throat. The way the air in my lungs becomes so thin like wine. Dreaming of a time when summer lasted like the doubt that polluted my veins. You used to dance behind closed eyes. You were my queen when everything else was falling apart. Time waits for no one, so why don’t we get it on. Come round and do your thing. Take me on a trip we’ll never come down from. They try to damage me, yet they’ll never come close to putting out my fire.

Sombre like masturbation. The death of a million kids drowned in soggy tissues. Suicide girls between the clock and the bed. Thoughts of you as we laid together all day searching our minds for answers we knew we’d never find. Sleeping against the world. Lonely for each others touch as the sun existed only for those who couldn’t dream outside the box. Comfort comes. It smothers you with scent and lukewarm pleasure. A cigarette for me and an aspirin for you. Let me sit in your parents garden beneath a boiling sun. Let this hangover haunt me no longer. Dog sniffing at my ankles, let the tears well in my eyes as all the love in the world is found in your tender embrace. I’ve fallen so many times. It’s as natural as sadness. So many fucked up avenues left to wither with neglect. Take me away from harm. Let go of my sin and save me from myself. All those wasted days. Those hours spent pondering the meaning of the universe whilst earning next to nothing in a dead end job. Educated yet ill informed. Dying but alive in fantasy. Less than human, yet more than you’ll ever know. This is the path we must take. It hurts like hell, yet it has to be walked. There’s no in between. We have to go all the way. There’s just no other place to go.

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