Faith

limbo

 

Maybe I’m destined to walk a lonely road until my heart beats its last. Maybe the last laugh is on me. All washed up with no memories to call my own. All bridges burned and no way to get back to where I once belonged. But those times are beyond my grasp now. They don’t exist. Places and faces from my past, they call my name, but now it’s time to let them hang. In limbo I find myself. In a state of being I’ve known throughout my entire life yet never truly considered. The trick is to become the one you were always meant to be. Against all odds. Against mockery and derision. Let them laugh as you kick the ashes of another failed dream. You’ll have your day. There will be a time when all of this makes sense. When all the pain and bewilderment reveals inner truth. It’s not far away, not that far at all. It just needs resistance against old ghosts. It needs me to face up to all that haunts the person I once was. I require no miracles, just the persistence to see me through these anguished moments that relish only oblivion.

Set yourself on fire. Ignite what it is that makes you shine in the darkness. Stand up. Not mute, but full of fury. So furious that the world won’t know what to do when faced with such conviction. My stomach tells tales of persistence, so why can’t I? Why can’t I swim like the dolphins? Why can’t my dreams set me free? If you want something to become reality, all you have to do is try. It might take years. Could take decades. There’s no telling the pain you’ll have to endure, but if it means that much to you, you’ll never stop seeking it. And that’s what I am. A seeker. A lover of all things out of our control. On the other side is where my heart sways. Some may think I’m crazy, but the time of no reply is a long way distant. These visions will continue. This feeling so complete, of sunshine and laughter- my ecstasy reigns supreme. I’m after something more. Something not known. It’s eluded me for so long, but I’m getting closer. In my own way, I’m moving forwards. I don’t need superstition, and I don’t need scripture. All I need is faith.

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