What’s Going On


She bleeds in her broken heart. She feels the hand of death between her tender legs with the ticking of every clock. Imploding with each breath, she clutches the ghost of her ex lover whilst trying so hard not to drown. All those ships sinking at sea. All those hands reaching up through the waves trying so hard to cling on to life. They claw at her dress. Those icy fingers, they scratch at her flesh begging to be saved whilst so many others before them have perished. She does it to herself. She kills herself on daily basis only to be reborn with every wet dream. Every morning another coffee eases her mind. So many arrows and so many wounds never truly healed. Flowers instead of sex. Drugs instead of thought. The universe on her pillow as the remnants of reflection crawl back to that great abyss in the sky. My hands around her breasts. My sexless body a demon waiting to drain all the life that’s left in her, right, the fuck, out. A disease of romantic proportions. Conversations in the early hours and summer loving with each and every glass of wine that’s poured. Drinking sunshine and sniffing angel dust. In my bed and in our heads, we’re forever floating in the gutter whilst flicking stars like marbles in a playground of wild desire. Your crying eyes tell me everything. This is just another game, just another rolling stone going home.

She’s got these curves. This kinda girly grin. You’re a woman and I’m a machine. I’m a leper and insect all rolled into one cute son. Moving through windows and walls, the oil in my smoke ravaged veins calls out your name. Teardrops as the tune of childhood music doesn’t play like it used to. The magic of escapism. The trembling hands of an artist sizing up his latest muse. Someone to give me kicks. A whore to take me to sublime shores. These pages of mine, you’re in every line. This book that taunts and teases. This work of art that has crippled me time after time. All these years of not knowing if I could keep myself alive. Yet I’m still here, and so is my vision of sex and death swirling in the arms of the one elusive lover beyond the grasp of all those who try to catch her. Heal yourself, ignore others, and avoid being strangled by the vines of lies that sprout so effortlessly. Married and buried. Pregnant with a reason for being. Two hearts in seasons unbecoming. My favourite words from my favourite smile. Distance means nothing. Secrets in every can of beer. My strength and belief don’t come easy, but I know I’ll find my place. Despite what they say, there’s a day waiting for me to become what I need to become. Seize the chance, and walk the line of give and take.

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