Blinded By Perversion

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In heaven, his hands and feet will be reattached. In heaven, she will swallow an ocean of man’s dirty disease. Some homeless drunk picks up dead cigarettes from beside me whilst my eyes drift to nowhere in particular. Bodies a mass of self obsessed tumours. Your love isn’t love. It’s just a way of protecting yourself from the thin line we call life. The reality of oblivion. Between chalk outlines and masturbation, my insides fall out with alarming regularity. It never hurts, it just burns for a while until I erase myself in the early hours. She sticks needles in her arms whilst he cuts himself in the kitchen sink. Pouring a coffee blacker than the universe, the fireworks in my head blank out everything else. These games we play not knowing that tomorrow we’ll be dead. You put on a great act, but the only one you’re kidding is the same sad face that stares back at you in the mirror. The years beneath your eyes. The ink on your thinning skin. Others come and go, yet you will last a lifetime. Sunshine on my greying beard. Cats that circle my legs as the breeze tells stories from my childhood. No one deserves to be lonely, yet we all deserve to die. The trees know it, and so do the animals as they await our return at the end of the pier. Blue skies and endless seas. Forever sometime soon.

Passing feelings as I sin not caring. Falling is succeeding. Failure so beautiful. A birthmark of my desires, there’s nothing that comes close to being on the brink of destruction. King of pain. Thinker of wonderful misery ready for a lover who’ll go all the way. Don’t stop now. Even when you fall, just keep on going. Through broken minds and bones, the taste of glory is never far away. Hidden in banality, it teases just out of sight. Suck on a cigarette. Drink oil. Choke on fantasy and take my hand. Let’s go someplace they’ll never think of looking. There’s no in between, just a moment that plays on a loop until we break free. Dropping acid and sleeping for weeks at a time. No such thing as luck, just an absence of fuck. Drowning horses as she eats the sun in my arms, there’s no point in turning back. Blinded by perversion. Pop shots on demand as the side walk crawls with lice. A thief and a beggar. A whore and the remnants of forced obedience . Nobody broke your heart, it just split in two the day you chose to stand apart. Tiny wrists so guilty whilst tied to forces out of your control, the scent of yesterday makes us dance despite the darkness. Do what you want, and burst those bubbles of lucid thought. Sought after lovers. Potential husband, bland wife. The horrors of ordinary people. The shame of being so normal. Sniff a little magic on the back of your hand. Let those fingers type until they bleed. Let them show the rest that you’re more than they’ll ever know.

Image from www.nadiamaria.com

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